Sadie, i dont see how i lied to you. i did not tell you we got high, but that was only because you were already calling me a skank for sleeping in the same tent as leeroy! Plus, we were talking about it during latin class! how the hell was i supposed to tell you about it when
1, hunter was right there, and ,
2 you wouldnt let me get a word in edgewise?
then , i was gonna tell yuo after class, but you went off to talk to chrissy. i didnt get a chance. And yes, i know it sounds like im blaming it all on you, but i dont mean to. if i had really wanted to tell you, i would have. But, i figured you would read it on here. and you did, but you say i lied to you. The only way i could have lied to you would have been if i said " no, we didnt get high!"
thats lying. not saying something is just omitting. And why wont you look at me? i was trying to talk to you, but you wouldnt let me. i dont want you mad at me. just talk to me.
On a different subject, i have a 100% in geometry, which i brought up from a 0.
Mitchell is helping me sort out some things im confused about with my friends and stuff, and it's kinda helping i understand some more, and my self esteem has risen ever so slightly.
Mitchell got laid off from work, so he's home all the time now.
this Sunday is 4/20. Mitchell's gonna try to have some friends over at our real house which means he might be spending this week cleaning it and getting it ready. Fuck yeah. Yet, thinking about it, i probably wont even do it. the memory loss scared me. Besides, it will prolly be good to have at least one sober person there... :)
Mitchell got me three packs of camels, that i gave him the money for. But the dumb cracker got regular when i do lights, and they dont have filters :( Assmunch.
whatever. im not complaining (much).
well, that about sums it up. Grammy is dying, so maybe we'll be home by next week? idk anymore. Love ya, bye
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2 comments:
wow. you got some stuff i said completely wrong.
but about the whole skank thing... i wasn't being serious. i doubt you'd do anything with whatshisface, and even if you did it would be really strange with other people there. im finding it completely impossible that you would have and i wouldn't even put the image of you and whatever his name is in my head. if i was seriously calling you a skank i wouldnt have done it in front of everyone, i would have called you something a little more underused, and i wouldnt be sitting there laughing with/around you afterwords! think about it sarah, you're pissed off at someone and you think they're a skank... are you going to be sitting there laughing and joking about something else afterwords? i think not.
and the other thing. this is EXACTLY the way im feeling and what im thinking about the whole situation:
you're life sucks. not gonna lie about it. then you start drinking and oh baby. that shit isnt gonna help. and then smoking. dude that stuff sucks balls yet nobody realizes it until they're 30 and they're trying to quit. but whatever. i bitched at you, but i tried understanding where you're coming from. then we have a pleasant little phone conversation about a month ago (dont go exagerating it.) and you're like yeah, "i gots me some ethicality. ive got my limits when it comes to that shit." and then im like ahh. its nice to know the chicks got some morals. and you have to understand that if i knew beforehand that you had none, and that was just a bunch of bullshit, i wouldnt really be caring right now. and about the little whatshisface... i made the connection between all your new problems and him. but whatever. theres just one thing i do not understand. the smoking. i just dont get it. drink all you want, if you're not an alcaholic and you dont think you're gaining a dependency, fuck if i care. smoking you're little mary jane. whatever. i mean, shit its not good for you but you know that. and maybe one day you'll have an epiphany and you'll make you're own decision on the two. but the smoking? put 1/60th of a gram of nicotine on your tongue and you would be dead within ten minutes. besides, you know one day you're going to want to quit. why make you're life harder?
and with all that kept in mind...
im just going to stop worrying about you. stop caring about you. because after all, who needs a positive influence in their life? and if i seemed a little judgemental towards leeroy or whatever the fuck his real name is, i am so sorry because i hate being like that. but hell yeah i am. i know you're going to think whatever you want to about him, im not trying to change your mind. but please try to understand someone who is looking at this from an outsiders point of you, watching you completely crush what principles you actually had, and get you into things you really dont need in your life right now.
and besides. whos going to take you seriously when you dont even take yourself seriously.
right now im feelin you're just a piece of shit loafing around with the potential of a fucking einstein. why dont you prove me wrong? and everyone else for that matter.
and you're right about me not knowing "leeroy" or whatever. but you have to understand the little i do know about him. what else am i supposed to think? you havent givin me anything else to think...
but whatever. im just that really annoying ex-friend of yours who obviously has noo idea what shes talking about. why should you care what i say.
wow ladies.
We all know mary jane sucks
growing dependent on it or alchohol also sucks.
& i swear Sarah, if either of those result in new problems for you.. I'll kill you in your sleep, because those habits do sometimes cause that sort of dependency/problem.
BUT
maybe no one should tell anyone their problems? :[
peace kids.
we get worried,
but its your life dude.
and you DO have more potential, & you know that.
no one else is gonna make you use it.
thats all up to you.
but until then, we love and care =]
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