yo

haven't had a new post for a while.
ima skip all the bullshit and just go to what happened today.
came home.
made soemthing to eat.
git in the shower.
answered an IM from leeroy i got while in said shower
tried to call up to dad to see if he could give leeroy a ride here
got mitchell to jump over the board dad had put up at the bottom of the steps to keep the animals out to talk to him and see if he could pick leeroy up
talked to jes

heard mitchell yelling at dad
went upstairs to investigate
found dad foaming at the mouth and barely conscious
held him up while mitchell interrogated him about what drugs he had taken
saw the suicide note he had written on his t.v. screen
held him up while he puked
sat in my room while the cops were here
watched my father who had obviously over dosed get wheeled out of our house in this chair he was strapped into and actually made eye contact with him but he wasnt aware of his surroundings and couldnt talk for anything but a mumble
found dad's car crashed into a stump with the keys locked inside to keep us form saving him
me leroy mitchell mom ginger and roger all went to fauquier hospital where he asked how my day was.
sat outside by the truck for the rest of the night writing poetry and having a sing a long to keep my mind off of it with mitchell nd leeroy
went in to see him right bfore we left and he seemed a little more coherent.
saw that he had written DNR (do not resucitate) on his palm
came home and wrote this.

there are more details but it's really hard to write everything.
i just hope that none of you ever have to go through what i am.
it's dreadful.