So I think I may have begun my breakdown.
The psychologist part of me is observing the rest of as I slowly degenerate into the most primitive of the human emotions:
Anger
Grief
Happiness (however brief my current experiences of it are)
Subject has spent the past 4 hours breaking into seemingly random fits of tears and aggression. As she has no one to physically take out her anger on, it reverts to her in the form of cutting and chewing on her lips. Subject did not eat with the rest of the family until her fit was over, and even then just had two pieces of buttered bread and sat down to watch I Love Lucy.
Subject has been exceedingly rude to her significant other, accusing him of not listening to her, not caring, and generally making him feel like crap. The words "I am sorry I failed you love" were sent through text to her, at which she began to sob uncontrollably. Subject plans on not eating for a while except for the family meals that will be a necessity as to not get in trouble or have any suspicion cast upon her. Subject has described feelings of having her world crashing down upon her. She cannot go 10 minutes without crying. She feels her only retreat without Zach there to text throughout the day is sleep. Subject is distrustful of everybody, including her boyfriend. Subject feels the need to curl up into a ball and let her situation float over her. Subject wishes he were here to hold her as she curls into a ball. Subject wishes she wasn't so "damned reliant" on him. She is beginning to hate his parents for being so suspicious of him that he won't come see her on his weekend off.
Subject will finish this later.
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