Well then.

So, I'm single.
And I'll look back on this in 5, 10, however many years, and laugh because I was a dumb little girl who though a teenage romance would last. Whatever. But seriously, who the fuck tells their girlfriend that he's "not sure about my feelings" on their two year anniversary? I'm not ever sure if that's the worst of it. He thought it was our 1 year anniversary, and he asked me if I was going to get my learner's soon.
PROTIP: I've had my learner's since September of last year.

And before I get ahead of myself, yes, I am fully aware that he was busy with other things. Family, school, work, yes, they all precedence over me, and for good reason. But seriously?
That was like the day that I thought I had lost my grandmother's ring, and I was freaking out during first period, and this kid asks me "Will your grandmother be mad?"
...
"She's dead."
Shit, you should have seen the look on his face.
Ok, maybe it's not exactly like that, but I wanted to tell that story. I later found the ring, in my 4th period gym class. It fell onto the floor in the middle of those fucking exercises. To this day I have no idea how it got there, but I don't really care. I found it, I have it, and I'm happy.
Anyway.
Zach.
Yes.
After he told me that I just...cried. What the fuck was I supposed to say? There I'd been that previous week, planning a romantic anniversary, being excited since we hadn't been able to see each other on our 1st anniversary, and little do I know that he was trying to figure out how to tell me he didn't know if he loved me or not.
I think the bitch of it was that for the following two days, all I thought about was how we would fix it and move on. Idealistic, moi?
Then he started talking to me on Monday, on gmail. I was curt, I'll admit, because I'd realized I'd shown too much emotion on Saturday for my safety as a human being. No one should see when they've hurt you, unless you know it will hurt them back. And thinking on it now, I don't know if my pain ever bothered him at all. Sure, he held me and gave me the generic "I'm sorry I made you cry." or "I'm sorry I hurt you." But it was all very...robotic.
Fuck.
I think for our entire relationship he was robotic, I just didn't let myself notice.
I hate myself for being such a little girl.
And now I've come to "If he doesn't love me, who the fuck will?"
And honestly, who could? Obviously not him, and my prediction is no one else for a very long time.