dear god I'm lazy

Uhh hi.
So I haven't posted in...well, a while.
Not much has happened, and I'm ok with that.
I mean, unless you count the whole thing with court and my conselour.... but that's for later.
Zach's back at college, but I should be able to go see him in 2 weeks assuming mom doesn't throw a hissy fit and say she won't drive me.

So I'm currently looking at my fucking disgusting room, willing it to clean itself. It's almost worse than before, and that's saying something.
I think... I will clean tonight and then shower, and then try to be asleep by the time mom leaves for work. Probably wishful thinking, but I can try.

My court appointed counselor told my mom that I cut myself. It's pretty difficult to look her in the eye right now. My mom, I mean. My counselor's a bitch who i wish would just leave me the fuck alone and let me fix myself on my own.
But no. She has this whole plan of things she wants me to work on. Including, but not limited to, spending more time with my parents.
Why.
Just.
Fucking.
Why.
I don't really like my parents.
It's not even the typical teenage thing of "BAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND ME IMA GO CUT MY HAIR DIAGONAL ACROSS MY FACE AND SEE IF THEY NOTICE ME THEN"
It's more of I see them as equals.
But I do sort of have this anger and disappointment of the whole not taking care of me and actually raising me instead of getting high/ drunk thing.
But I don't actively hate them. In fact, it would work well if we could just stay out of each others' way.
But nooooooo.
Sharon has all of these big ideas about fixing our family dynamic.
Not possible.
Not even plausible.
Stupid cunt.
You wonder why the suicide rate among teens is so high?
It's because you mess with them so fucking much and they get tired of it.
You can only bend wire so much before it snaps.
God I dislike that woman.