jeez looeez!

It's ok, Netsua. I don't smoke much. 1 cigarette a day. It will not kill me anytime soon. Your comments sound really judgmental, like i'm a crack whore or something. A life without excitement is not a life. Cigarettes are legal and easy to get a hold of. pot, on the other hand, is not either one of those.if it was at least easily accessible, i would not be smoking.

So, yeah. i think the reason my throat hurts is because i swallow my saliva when i'm smoking. i will stop doing this. Besides, i can't smoke often because my mom will pitch a fit, even though she started smoking when she was 11...

Smoking also keeps me awake, which i also need because no matter how much sleep i get, i'm always sluggish. i'm surprised your the only one yelling at me. maybe the others haven't seen it yet.. i'm gonna go. ily bye!

Where's My Stash, Man?

well, what they say about Nicotine addiction is true. You will get addicted within the first few cigarettes. but it does relieve stress, which i need right now. my world is off its axis. Fuck. i need a cigarette, but i'm at gingers house, and plus, i get them from Mitchell and he's not here. Shit. yeah, yeah, i don't expect you guys to sympathize. Just saying whats going on in my head. maybe when i get back to my grandmother's house.... i'm gonna go see when Ginger is gonna take me home. ily. bye!

hectic

so many things have happened this weekend. Today, my grandmother went to the hospital for a nosebleed that wouldn't stop. It finally did after 5 hours. The stranger is officially going to live in our house while we stay at my grandmother's. i started smoking yesterday. please. please, don't tell me about the health risks. i didn't post it for you guys to bitch, i posted for you guys to know. My face is breaking out from stress. For some reason, my armpits hurt... odd... well, i gotta go. Bye!

Leroy?

i've noticed that i talk about Leroy a lot on here, but you have to understand. He has evolved into one of my best friends in a matter of 2 months. Plus, he's pretty much my only high school friend. The rest, i don't feel that bond with, like i can talk to them freely, and they won't be judgmental. it's really nice. well, i saw him today, but we didn't talk. He came into my Science class on a mission from a different teacher, and while he was talking to Mrs. Sanborn, he started saying "You should be nice to her, ( gestures to me), She's one of the only eighth graders that," but the teacher interrupted him. oh well. But i wish i could have talked to him today. This is a weird feeling, to only want to talk to one person. i mean, i have my reasons, not all concerning him, but that's beside the point. Ok. i need to bitch, but i'll do it later. i'm hungry. bye!

Questions

i have a strange urge to talk to Leroy.it makes no sense. well, he is my friend, but i just want to talk to him, and only him...he knows whats going on because he was at our house when we found out. Maybe it's the bond i feel now that i watched 3 movies with him after Mitchell fell asleep and actually fell asleep in their bed. its' startling how quickly i'm making older friends. Like today. Leroy was talking to two of his friends, and he introduced us, and bam! now i know two more high schoolers. God, i love Leroy. Not like that, you sickos.And even if i did like him, he would be my friend first, crush second, like with all crushes. Got it? i'm going to bed. Gnight: Sara, Austen, War girl, Mairead and whoever else i forgot due to sleep deprivation. Love ya!

booga wooga

At my aunt's house. she picked me up from my house after school.My aunt rose sent me another care package. Gloves, a suede purse, and candy. and a tINKERBELL PLANNER THAT I'M GOING TO GIVE TO oops.didn't know caps lock was on. i'm going to give it to Mitchell since he likes Tinkerbell.please, someone email me. My life is going to be shit for the next month, so please bare with me. If i insult or offend you, i truly am sorry. i'm not in complete control of how i'm acting.

Talked to Leroy. he was very sweet. he said to get in contact with him if i need anything.
i'm gonna go now. talk to you guys later. Bye

Checking in

well, i'm here and i really don't wan to be. i don't mind taking care of my grandmother, it's just i don't feel like lying to my father and saying that i'm home when he's going to find out that i'm not.
Netsua, i've already been through this, but i appreciate the support all the same.

It looks like i'm gonna be here until the beginning of March. Mom is thinking about letting to guy that sleeps in his tent or car on my aunt's property stay at our house while we're gone,. Which is completely absurd since we barely know the guy, and he's almost a complete stranger. Yes, i realize they are the same thing.i should probably go to bed for exams tomorrow,and to finish my White Fang essay when i get to school and to organize my science binder. G'Night, guys. Bye.

Moving

Well, i'll be at my grandmother's house with Mom and Mitchell until further notice. Someone has to take care of Grammy. i'll be taking Baby Ace, of course, and my baby( don't freak, guys. It's a bean bag chair). i won't be online except at night so you can email me, but don't expect a reply until the next day. Brownies, i'm sorry if i upset you. i didn't mean to take my anger out on you guys.

i see my big sister in about an hour, so wish me luck!( do i need luck?...) Bye!

As History Reapeats Itself

Fuck. Well, Department of Social Services is bothering our family again. Apparently, someone has reported to the county that the cats in our house are still a problem. The teachers can smell cat piss on my clothes. Yeah. Thanks for telling me that, guys. ok. i know its not your faults, and I'm sorry for taking it out on you. Dad says( he was the one who warned me) that the people will try to talk to me this week. I will not talk to anyone from DSS in this county ever again. It screwed me over the first time, and it'll do it again. I don't care if I have to fucking just sit there and keep my mouth shut in the disgusting little room. i am not going to get fucked over this time.

I don't know if any of you have said anything to authorities,but if you have, could you tell me? I need to know who has done this. I won't be mad. I promise. Please just tell me.

So, I'm officially fucked. Dad is going to stay at a friends house because he can't stand my Grandmother's house anymore. I can't visit him because the cat at Nancy's house is allergic to fleas.

How can one person get so depressed in ten short minutes? What do I do now?

HOORAY!!!

Well, Eve is leaving in about 2 hours, Leroy is here, and Today is Amanda's 19th birthday. What a happy day. i made Orange Rolls for breakfast for them. i am still wearing the ridiculous outfit. i'm comfy, so if anyone doesn't like it, they can kiss my ass. Once Eve leaves, i'll hang out in Mitchell's room. Mitchell and i need to talk to Leroy, anyway. My hand hurts, and i'm not sure why.thank you for complying, Daeriam! ok. i'm gonna go now. Bye!

Can I Rant?

I just wrote an entire really long post that was heartfelt and funny and Blogger deleted it.
I will start over-
basically- thank you guys for all of the lovely support. i really do appreciate it. i want this to be the place that i can talk and not be reprimanded for it. So i would like all of you reading this to agree not to report me to a counselor or some shit like that. War girl and Brownies? please don't repeat your earlier act.i appreciated it, but the last thing i need is more attention from the county. And if i find out who reports me, i will make a new blog and the offenders will not get the link to it. Do i make myself clear?good.
... I think i talked about music,too. You guys! leave a comment on your top favorite bands!
Mine are:

1. The Beatles
2. Queen
3. The Who
4. Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers
5. CSNY

Amanda's birthday is tomorrow, so i'll bring her a present when i see her. i think i'll bring her a pair of the snail earrings i found at Claires.

The only other thing i remember about my post is My Axis of Evil

1. The Periodic Table of Elements
2. Geometry
3. Whiskey
4. Mark David Chapman
5. George W. Bush
6. George H. W. Bush
7. Barbara Bush
8. Sex
9. Baths
   
10. God
11. Pink
12. Racists
13. Homophobes(sorry, Brownies...)
14. Salt
15. Metabolism
16. Pheromones
17. Buzzing Your Lips
18. Sister-In-Laws
19. Hangovers
    
20. Age
21. Lead
22. Blogger for deleting my other post...
    

If you don't understand the reference, i can lend you the dvd - The Best of Will Ferrell Volume 2

This about all that i remember... if i think of anything else, i'll post it. Bye!

LOL

Thanx for the offer, Daeriam, but what is normal for anybody? Much less, my house? If you can find it, more power to you. Bye!

crap.

Eve isn't leaving to day. i think my head may explode. She's too clingy and make- out -with -my -brother- in -the -middle- of -the -living -room -no -matter -who -is -there. When she first got here, she was trying to make a good impression, but now she doesn't care. Whatever. She's leaving tomorrow, and Leroy is supposed to come over. Mom will drive me to Warrenton to see Amanda. i think i'm gonna try to stay in my room, because when i see eve, i want to murder her. Mitchell keeps asking me whats wrong because he can tell, but i can't exactly say
" Your Girlfriend needs to leave now or i will kill her" right in front of her. That's just tacky. Ok. i will risk the living room to see if i can talk to Mitchell privately for 3 seconds without the shadow around. Maybe if she uses the bathroom... no. i forgot.If they take baths together, then peeing certainly won't inhibit her. i'm gonna go gnaw off my left arm in protest of her. Bye!

explanation

i guess i owe all the blog commentators an explanation -
War girl- What you say is true, and i realize i choose how i feel
Brownies- yes, there are a lot of things you don't know about me, and we need to talk about it
Daeriam- i give you and Netsua my Blessing
Anybody else? Ok.

i apologize if i upset anybody; that was not my intention. Thank you for the comments and support.
and Just so you know, i will keep posting my own thoughts, even though i know more people are reading this.


well, now that that's out of the way, i can talk. Eve and Mitchell got wasted last night (off of Wine and Champagne) because it was her last night here. She goes home sometime today. Which means.... I get to See Amanda On Sunday! well, if mom can take me. But Eve is leaving! Woo- hoo! No more finding condom wrappers all over his room! No more Bath time fun!

They are making breakfast together, since mom couldn't make it home. We are having eggs, sausage and pancakes. Eve cannot cook. She is in charge of the pancakes, and she has to ask Mitchell if they are done.
i'm sorry to sound so bitchy. i just woke up an hour ago, and i have a headache. i didn't have anything to drink last night because i figured there should be at least on sober person in the house. All right, my friends. Bye! Love you guys!

full

Just finished my dinner of noodles and peas that Mitchell made. He doesn't understand how i could be upset with him, so i did not enlighten him. Mom is sleeping in the truck on the side of the road somewhere because she can't make ot home because of the ice on the roads. i have two pimples on my lip and they hurt really bad. Sorry to complain so much. There's just not much else to say. Bye!

Drat.

i need to vent, but i don't want George to read it but i know he will, so fuck it. George and Mairead are in love an i feel threatened. He wrote us both the same letter saying he was staying in Virginia
( to be explained) and his reasons were " Sarah. You definitely need a friend. Mairead, i need you as you need me." Or something like that. It's as if, now that he has Mairead, he doesn't need me. I don't want to confront him, and i wish someone would give me advice. George, if you're reading this, leave your advice under anonymous. And don't be obvious.
God, i can hear them in the tub again. i'm going to go hang my self. Bye! Wait! i hear the bathtub door opening! YES! there is a god! I don't have to listen to them anymore! Sweet Wonderful Jesus!!!
*throws down noose and stomps on it* I Love My Life! Hallelujah! WOO-HOO!!!



....... ok. i'm done.

EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

They are taking a bath together. i hate them both. i think i might puke. My room is right next to the bathroom, so i can here them moving on the tub and the water rushing around them when they move. Will someone organize my funeral? George says he won't. And now i need to pee. i can't go outside; it's too cold. Maybe i can use my sliding glass door? Still outside. Still too cold. I cannot stand him. He is so inconsiderate. Little Fucker. i wish Eve would leave. 2 more days! woo-hoo! She has turned into a mirror image of Mitchell. She's been here since December. i am tired of going on their room and finding condom wrappers all over the floor. Fuck. i am sick and tired of living with them.

Snow Day!

i now have a 5 day weekend because they canceled school today, we have off tomorrow and Monday. i just came in from outside building a snowman. It has a cigarette in its hand and a bottle of Bawls (an energy drink) in the other. its not well done, but i like the additions, even though the cigarette is wet from the snow. Eve and Mitchell are just lounging in front of thwe fire that they didn't even have the decency to get the wood for. Last night, my mom called from her cell phone that she was at the top of the driveway and would we help her load the pickup with firewood.i told the message to Mitchell and Eve but they just sat there playing computer games. i think his laziness is rubbing off on her. i think i'm beginning to hate both of them. You can't even criticize Mitchell without him asking you if you want him to kill himself or for you to shut up. Great. Now i'm all pissed off thinking about it. OOOH! Good news! i might be seeing Amanda on Sunday! She works at Denny's so she invited mom and i to come see her. i hope mom can take me. i miss her a lot. A Lot. well, i'm gonna go email her. Bye!

Halp!

I don't know whats going on. Leroy is gonna try to come over this weekend. i'm probably gonna lock myself in my room. K.K. and i start eating better tomorrow, we decided.
i had an exam in Geometry which i think i failed and one in American Studies that was 98 questions long, but i think i did pretty well. i'm gonna go play Animal Crossing. Bye!

God Shit Fuck Dammit

I have lost all respect for Eve. She lets my brother fuck her even though he treats her like shit. She is being idiotic and in considerate to herself. I think I don't like her. Enough ranting. Bye!

heavy eyelids

tired. Gonna go to bed soon. mkay. bye.

deep cleansing breaths

im better. i might see Amanda soon (i hope!) i really, insanely, miss her. George is having better things happen in his love life and i am very happy for the both of them. Maybe i'm bipolar? 20 minutes ago i wouldn't have been able to hold any conversation without crying, and now, i'm so happy i could sing! woah. i'm gonna go check out Homestar. Bye!

FUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate myself so much. Why do i ruin things? God i'm useless. i just want to scream my head off.

Shit.

i feel like shit. i made the mistake of getting into an argument with Mitchell, and now it feels like He and Mom hate me. i really don't know what to do. Mom is taking George home, and when i told them i wasn't going to ride along, she got visibly upset. i really, sincerely don't think she likes me now. i'm not sure what i did wrong other than stand up to a person who has bothered me for fourteen years. He even smacked Eve. He says he was aiming for her hand, but it's still not ok. i thought she had more sense than that. god damnit. i can barely see the keyboard for crying. My cheeks are getting chapped from the moisture. i'm gonna go be depressed somewhere else. Thanks for listening. Bye.

fgrty

Amy is here and...um... i don't know what we're gonna do.Outside!!! ok bye.

A.of E.

George is now part of my Axis of Evil.

SHRIMP!!!

So here i sit, eating toast with apple butter trying to see if anyone has emailed me. Apparently not.Whatever. George is leaving today so he can study for the Periodic Table test tomorrow. i'm not going to school tomorrow anyway. i will be checking out my brother's college with him and Eve. Niche is still here. They are all asleep. George is out getting wood since i don't want to. i'll be seeing Amy in 3 hours. Yay! ok. i'm done. Bye!

Don't Taze Me, Bro!

This is unbelievable. A man gets arrested for speaking his mind? Uhh, hello? First Amendment, much? This country is going down the drain faster than i thought possible. if you haven't, i recommend you watch this video on Youtube. Just search for the title of this post and view the first one. Well, i'm off to read Hitchhiker's Guide and fall asleep.Bye! G'night.

yaddi yaddi dii

i just saw Sweeney Todd. That is probably one of the best movies i have ever seen. It is definitely going on my top movie list. Whatever. Ok. George is here and i'm gonna go somewhere else online. now. Bye!

New tab

i'm only using this post so that i can open a new tab so i can use the dictionary for freerice.com ok. Thanks. Bye!

still is sitting, still is sitting

i need to read that poem again. So here i sit, eating a generic brand of Cheerios with too much sugar. Christmas candy wrappers are all over my desk because i've been depressed and detached.i get to see an old friend tomorrow, Amy.George is going to be picked up tonight. Still don't know what's going on today. So confused. i'm gonna go read "The Raven". bye

WHAT A TO-DO

i offended George, so he won't talk to me. i want to know what his mom has to say. i'm really worried that he might not be prepared. i guess we can hope for the best.

Fuck it. My name is Sarah. Hi! Nice to meet you. Nice weather we're having, is it not?
A girl with the same name as mine but without the "h" left today. She's moving. As happy as i am that i will be the only Sarah again, i know that people will still think of her first when someone says " Sarah". i'm happy being a misfit. i really am. i would just like to be noticed by someone. Not necessarily popular, but someone. Tired of having a crush. Either develop into something more, or go away. Glad i am making older friends. Good to expand horizons. currently melting chocolate on the light bulb of my desk lamp. Burning my tongue. Ow. Tired of not being able to tell George how annoyed i am because he'll say it's not true, not nice and not relevant. Whatever. i'll save it for another time. Wish he would stop being such a god damn pussy and talk it out with me. Sorry, man. the truth. Don't like it? Don't read it.

i'm done. bye.

Santa! How could you! I trusted you!

Epiphany: Santa is a pedophile. And he gets the money for the toys by selling the Elves' Bodies on the street corner at the North Pole. I need time to absorb this information. I'm a little shaken up.

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

Still not sure what's going on this weekend. Might get ear piercing kit for George. Might not be able to. Your probably coming over on Sunday. Gotta go. Bye

Worry Wart

Netsua, How do you expect me not to worry? We've been thru a lot of the same shit. I've gone thru what you're rite now. i'll worry in my own quiet way. I won't bother you about it. But if you ever need to talk, EVER, like in the middle of the night, call my cell, and you can talk to me. Love ya, man.

sad

so confused. with something Mitchell said about Leroy.... what to do about George.... Amanda.... my stomach hurts... need to go to bed to get up extra early....and the next person who asks me whats wrong is getting a black eye. Depressed. Swiss Army Knife? yes.

Rain, Rain, Go ahead. Later go drown Bush instead.

i came up with that one all by myself! i fell asleep in the hall before school today. Mr Ramey woke me up. i was comfy since i was using my bag as a pillow, reading Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe and using the blanket i keep in my bottom locker. Still don't know about Sweeney Todd... probably won't until the day of the movie...need to ... i don't know... Kind of scared... Mitchell's friends are actually stopping to talk to me... not sure what to think....Whatever. Gonna go read and have a bag of popcorn. bye.

Alone.. So Alone...

Niche took Eve to get her hair cut. When she gets back, we're gonna make cake. Mitchell should be home from work soon... Bored. Need social interaction... so alone... gonna go make dinner ( a bag of popcorn) but i'll be back

*yawn*

going to bed. Gnight.

whatever

(>o_o)> yay! Dancing Kirby! sorry. i think it's really friggin' cute, though. ok. Bye.

OMG! Johnny Depp!

going to see Sweeney Todd this weekend, i think. Mitchell's friends are going so Eve said that i had to come. i feel happy : )gonna go talk to Nichi, Eve and Mitchell. Bye!

...

still need to pee... Niche is coming over to take Eve someplace. Whatever. It's all good. you know what it's like to sometimes not want to be with your friends? that's what I'm going through right now. Sorry George. It's just a phase

All in A Day's Work

Had gym. Knee still hurts from when i fell on new Year's. Need to talk to George. i'd like to ask for something. Whatever is on this blog, stays on this blog. This means no asking me questions or commenting on the material. Thats what the comment section is for.Kay? Kay.
Need to pee. Gonna go talk to Eve.Bye!

Should be sleeping

i'll got to bed in a bit. got school tomorrow. bye!

Pictures

These are two of my favorite people. I find both drop dead sexy with amazing mentalities. I love you guys!!! Johnny Depp is quite possibly my favorite actor. John Lennon was just...amazing. Damn. I wish you weren't dead.

More Ranting.

These are the enemies. Mark David Chapman murdered John Lennon. George W. Bush murdered our rights.I swear, if M.D.C. ever gets out of prison, I will kill him. He's safer in there. If the government falls with Bush in power and he turns into our dictator or something, I'm halfway to Cuba in a barrel with a paddle. No. I'll stay to fight. And kill him. I Promise. Ok. I'll be back with more pics. Bye!

George

i'm in the middle of the big blowup with George. God this sucks,but i want to work this out. whatever.bye

zzzzzzz

beginning to find it difficult to stay awake. fuck it. i'm going to bed.

Damn good breakfast

well, i just made breakfast of toast and scrambled eggs. i woke them up, but i hear no movement. whatever. their loss. Eve didn't seem too happy to see me. i probably interrupted their plans *cough cough*.oh, well. i'll leave them alone. i'll stay in here.

Buya!

Mom says that since i had no sleep and i have two tests, i can stay home and study for Geometry. So i'll be here all day. i need to tell Leroy that baby Ace didn't die. i told him that when Baby Ace died, i wouldn't come to school. maybe Mitchell can tell him if he calls.wait. i'll get his email from mitchell and email him. ok. i'm gonna go get breakfast, for real this time. bye!

Time For School!

Mom's up. She doesn't mind that i stayed up all night. As long as i go to school. Maybe i can convince her otherwise. hmmmmmmmmmmmm *strokes chin thoughtfully* Nah. i wanna be able to say i stayed up an entire night and then carried on with business as usual. i have to go change. bye! See you at 4: 45!

Rantings of a small town girl

This is the view i see every morning, except more beautiful and less cartoony. Blue Ridge Mountains. i live in the middle of nowhere. i repeat NOWHERE. i love the landscape. i want to separate the people from their left legs and beat them with them. Stupid gossips and inter-breeders. The local hangout? the Q-Stop. Affectionately referred to as the Quickie Mart. There are no traffic lights. None. At. All.
My 8th grade class has 54 kids in it. We have no Middle school building, so 8th grade is in the high school, but we have a different schedule. The High school has less than 900 students, i think. Not sure. My English and Science classes both have less than 13 kids in it.Big change from what you assume, right?

i am completely awake now. i'm gonna go find breakfast. bye!

wtf

well, there's no point in sleeping if it's for less than an hour. Fuck It. Fuck It In a Bucket With Diet Coke.. *ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh burn* Sorry. It had to be done. ok, stupidity aside. i wonder if i'm going to be able to stay up. i have a geometry test today.And a vocab test. i wonder if mom would let me stay if i pretended i was sick. She'd never buy it. Rule # 1 of Tricking Parents: Avoid Sibling's Mistakes. Easy to do, yet just as easy to forget. Mitchell has had made plenty of mistakes, so i'm home free. It feels like i'm drunk. I bet you i couldn't walk a straight line right now. And a lot of retarded jokes are coming to mind. i'm gonna go draw something on Paint. BRB

insomnia

I'm determined not to sleep. not sure why, but I have to go to school at 7 so It's working. Oh, I will go to school. I promise. Mostly because Mom won't take " up too late on-line " as a legitimate excuse for not going. Just emailed Amanda ( formerly known as Panera) about why I never went to see her and realized I'm fucking Emo! I feel like spouting secrets right now, so hold on tight!
I cut myself. Not my wrists. The back of my hand. Look at it sometime. They aren't cat scratches. I swear to god, this isn't for attention that I know of. I'm just tired of holding that secret in from everyone but George. Oh, and Mitchell's friends if you're here? Judge me if you like, but don't you fucking dare label me. I am not a can of soup.
Mostly the reason I do it is because I love scars. It's like history on your skin.Fucked up, I know. but you know what? You can just go fuck yourself( I'm sure you've tried) if you don't like me and my blog. Sure, I'd like people to care, but it's no skin off my nose if you don't come back. Actually, take my entire nose. I think it's ugly as fuck.

Let's talk about gay rights.

If I have talked to you for any length of time, you will know that I like antagonizing Homophobes by acting like a lesbian. In real life, well, while I am a little apprehensive about letting something from a guy inside me at this point in my emotional maturity, I don't see the point in fucking something that's the same as me. But. I don't see why sexual preference should affect anything legal. Love is Love.

<3 + <3 = Marriage

Period. That's it. If a guy likes it up the ass, what does that have to do with an election? I seriously don't understand America nowadays. We are the ones with no right to push Homosexuals off the map. In fact, why am I using the words us and them? We are all the same. No difference. You're cheating yourself if you think different. Carbon. Same things make us tick. We are here to fuck and pop em out. Get over it. If you can't, I'll pull the trigger for you. Do I like it? No. I don't like the fact that I am of few that can comprehend that. But I know it's true.

Why do I capitalize " I"? I am no more special than you, except I might understand things better. How is it we are so conceited that even our language reflects it? I don't matter more than you in the Great Scheme Of Things. i will not capitalize i anymore. Screw education. Wait. Shit. i am such a coward. i don't think i can afford to screw education. ill try. i promise.
i really want to party right now. But like, intelligent partying. Not with people who use words like tummy and boo- boo seriously. i love you man, but you piss me off. You wanted to hi 5 me for drinking. Told you you were 6. shit. i just realized how mean this is. George, i love you. forever. But i'm leaving involuntarily. Things happen. i can't help it! i've really messed things up, haven't i? leva me a comment and i'll google chat with you tomorrow.

i'll be back in a few minutes. i need a break. bye!

Current mood: Crying

Just reading my brother's blog from 2006. One of the comments from his Thanksgiving post (which the part about me isn't even true- I don't know how to steal a cable)from Eve says that she thinks I should die. Yes, I realize this was 2006, but it hits a rough nerve. As if i needed one more reason to dislike her. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love her. I'm just getting tired of her letting Mitchell treat her like Chicken shit and still get to fuck her, and of both their comments about My big sister and Father. They can't take them away from me, even though Mitchell thinks he has succeeded. I still talk to ( fuck it) Amanda and I see Dad sometimes.

Now, all of a fucking sudden, he's proud to have me as a little sister. Wait, isn't he the same guy who used to beat the shit out of me every single day? Isn't the reason there's a suicide note written on my wall? Don't get me wrong. It feels great to be accepted. I have recently been accepted by some of his friends, too. Leroy is one of the best friends I have and Zack is just fun. I just don't understand. Is it just that he wants his namesake to carry on his practices at school? Or does he genuinely think I'm cool enough to be part of his group? I sincerely wish it is the latter. His friends are more on my maturity level than mine are. I'm just afraid that one day I'm gonna find out that the only reason his friends ever talked to me was so that they didn't have their lives ruined by the scary big brother. Is that it? Is that all I'm scared of?

No.

I'm also scared that all of my friends will leave me for leaving them. Childish, I know, but it's a real fear.

I have been trying to get to know Mitchell's friends on a deeper level, so they realize I'm not just the dreaded annoying little tag along. Leroy says that I am one of his friends, so I'm good on that front. I've been talking to Zack, but I'm still not sure. I love pretty much everyone I come across that cares, and Mitchell's friends are no exception.

Emo Alert: I don't understand how anyone could love a fat-ass bitch like me. Should I end it now?

,';./.';';

I swear to God. If I hear one more thing about my brother having sex, I am going to scream. I don't care, and I don't want to know. Besides, he has a different fuck buddy every week so what's the point in knowing? I love my brother. He does not treat women well. And if George keeps trying to be like him, I will set them both on fire. JK. Mostly. Netsua, I don't want to talk about it just yet, so don't bring it up.Please. I love you to death, and I don't want to lose you. I don't think I can afford to lose you.

I don't really feel like being conscious right now, so I'm gonna go to bed in a bit. Bye.

Pathetic

It really is pathetic. I now have more posts in January than in 2007. Granted, I did start only a few days after Christmas, but still.
I have school tomorrow, and I really don't want to go. Fuck.
Mom's asleep and Mitchell and Eve are in his room. I've been in there all day, and I'm gonna go back in there. Bye!

Bored... and Bored

Freaking bored. Putting cover up on the scars on the back of my hand(not the cat scratches) and it works quite well. I'm gonna go see if Mitchell and Eve are awake. Bye.

New ( and old) words for 2008

Tangerine -It's an awesome word
Walrus- also an awesome word, especially if you combine them...
Snoiz- Scrabble Cheating-A combo of all the sleepy noises you can make
Doecilze- DOH_UH_SILL_ZEE- The name of the purple Dinosaur from my 4th post. 3 left in the entire world.
Kurqyne- KER_KWIN- onomatopoeia-the sound of:

1. an old jar of Marinara sauce being stirred
2. a pickle jar being opened
3. a chipmunk being run over by a lawn mower

So now you know.
Wait! Sir! Would you like to buy my Tangerine walrus? It is very well behaved! Screw you then. Bye. *bastard*

Morning, Sunshine! *Gag me*

Still tired, but awake. Went to bed at 4:20am. Mitchell is making me read "Of Mice and Men" for the first time. I have two really bad cat scratches on the back of my left hand that form an "X". I've been cleaning it, but it really hurts. I'm going to quit Battle of the Books. It feels like a chore to read all 20 books this year. The other years were fine. I'll have to tell Kit that I drop out. Let's just hope that there is enough left of my body for my parents to have. I'm done for now. Bye!






Music Playing In My Head: Enya," Hotel California", and "Jerry Springer" By Weird Al.

I just woke up

My brother's other friends left earlier. We watched Donnie Darko and now I'm being haunted by Frank. I'm bored, so I'm gonna go see what they are doing. bye!

Prologue (sp?)

While I was cheating at Scrabble last night, I came up with 3 new words that I don't feel like typing tonight.
Leroy is here, and two of my brother's other friends might be coming over soon.
Whatever. I'll post later. bye!

Hi!

Seriously, folks. Even though I bitch about him, I love my brother. Although, I will keep bitching when I want to because this is my blog. Get over it.

Anyway. If you are one of my friends from school, please leave a comment.If you sit next to me in Reading class, sorry I didn't tell you what I did on New Year's. I figured you would bitch at me. Love ya!


i'm cold (still) so I'm gonna go sit with Eve. Bye!

2nd day back

I fell asleep in music class 5 times today. We were lying on the carpet and finishing the class book, and I fell into a deep enough sleep to dream about my face being deep-fried. Can someone explain the significance? I have American Studies homework, and I have to get two loads of firewood in.

Netsua, thank you for the heater offer, I think I'll take it. And I'm sorry you can't come over yet Leroy can. Love ya!

So, I'll see Leroy tomorrow, and I have to decorate my door for Christmas. Yes, I know that was last year, but that is what makes it odd. I have spent the greater portion of my time figuring out how to be odd.

I'm gonna go get wood in. Bye!

Even Colder

I am so cold, I can see my breath right now. I left Mitchell's room because he made me lie to my 76 year old grandmother and say he was asleep so he didn't have to talk to her. God, I hate him sometimes. Well, maybe hate is a strong word. he really makes me mad sometimes. He is just so in considerate. All that matters are his wants and that's it. Is an older brother here to make you want to commit suicide? Because mine has been doing a real good job of it for the last 14 years.
Ok. enough Emo-ness.If you read this, could you leave a goddamn comment? I'm getting desperate for contact from someone other than Mitchell, Eve and mom. God. My fingers are freezing in typing position. Jesus. The sounds from his room are gross. Ha ha Mitchell! You can't yell at me because this is my own personal blog! Ha! Ok. Bye.

1st day back

Just got back from School. I talked to Leroy, my brother's friend who actually treats me like a human being unlike Mitchell's other friends who usually ignore me. He says he's gonna try to come over this weekend, which is nice because Leroy is pretty cool. Even when I joke and call him a pussy.

I don't have any homework, but Eve is bored so I'm gonna go play Wii with her. Bye!

blah

I don't feel like finishing that post. Since the blond streaks didn't work,I put in red streaks. I think It looks really good.

You know, I am what a lot of people would call " Emo", but I'm actually kinda happy. I mean, nobody's life is perfect. I dress the way I want to dress, talk like I want to talk, and do what I want to do. Mitchell is getting me a pair of Tripp pants, i can out-cuss a sailor, and I pretty much rule my own life. I mean, my mom realizes that the shit I do is meaningless, like dying my hair. She doesn't care. And, OMG! She let two boys sleep in my room! Isn't that CUH- RAAAAAAZZYY??? Sorry, I like to make fun of stupid people. BTW, I only say OMG to make fun of people.

Ok. I'm done. George came back tot he house because our neighbor's son was being a bitch, and he felt bad for me being here all alone. Honestly, I'm fine alone, but I cant tell him that. he doesn't get it. i guess I'll go watch him play Animal Crossing, because my back hurts really bad from being in a sedentary position for the last hour and a half. Ok. Buh- Bye!

Long Blog

George, Eve and Mitchell are going to my neighbor's house. George has instructed me to write a really long blog, so I'll do another segment of Things I Know.

1. I know that I'm hungry, but I'm not going to let myself eat for the next week.
2. I know I still have a hangover from last night.
3. I know I need to pee.
4. I know my Swiss Army knife is in my pocket for a specific job.
5. I know there is a Jello shooter that we made last night in a cupcake tin on my desk.
6. I know there is nail polish on the backspace, \and| ,enter and shift keys on my keyboard.
7. I know I am having a bowl of vanilla and chocolate ice cream despite #1
8. I know it's damn good.
9. I know I will finish this later. I'm gonna go watch Homestar Runner.
   

hdjfmvbdt

I'm going to sleep. I just finished my champagne and I'm tired. My brother and his " friend" are in the bathroom and it's starting to piss me off. Whatever. Bye.

....................................................................................................

The blond didn't work on my hair. I don't know why, but this seriously depresses me. What ever. I go back to school tomorrow, so I won't be posting as much. I'll tell you about my day after school. So here I sit, with a newly poured glass of Champagne, watching the bubbles rise to the top and burst. I'll talk about the metaphor later when I get rid of my hangover.

smell

Blond Hair dye stinks. The ammonia is attacking my nose. But It'll look good!( I hope)

Hair

Our bathroom has turned into a friggin' beauty parlor. Eve is bleaching her hair with Clorox so she can dye the tips red, Austen just died his tips red, I just died my tips red and I'm gonna put in blond streaks, and Mitchell is cutting his hair, then dying it blond. Phew! Mitchell's hair is died black from the natural brown, and mine is died brown from the natural blond. Mom is staying with gray. My hair looks kick ass already, but I know it will look great because I used to dye the tips red all the time. George's looks even better than mine. Eve's brown hair is lightening as i speak. i'm gonna go finish with blond. bye!

The Morning After--12:26pm

Just woke up. Slight hangover. George is sitting on my bean bag chair with Baby Ace. I need breakfast. Cheetos here I come!

Music -time-12:13am

First song of 2008: When we were done yelling and there was that split second of silence, I started singing "Old Lang Sign" By Allan Sherman to the beat of the new Year's music on Animal Crossing. Mitchell joined in , but I had started at the end of the beat, and everyone was confused, so we did it again. Then we high- fived and started laughing. Just thought you should know. bye!

happy New Year!

Here I am, and Two Screwdrivers+ creme de menthe and A glass of Champagne later, I have a headache. but Apparently I'm a fun drunk, so It's all good. George is over here, So we toasted in the New year. Gotta go. Bye!