hyper
playing dress up
i have baggy jeans, my *only* friggin dress, and a Led Zeppelin tee shirt on. i think i'll wear this to school tomorrow.
its comfy.
i think ill put beads in my hair, too.
BWAHAHAHA IM ACTUALLY KINDA HAPPY OMG
peace gnite
... well, i was happy until Mad World started playing.
now i realize my brothers in jail, both my grandmas are dying, and tyhe world sucks.
but at least I have a dress.
i love life.
peace
Monday, December 1, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
yadda-yadda
well.
im sitting here with leeroy playing strong bad beside me, my Edward poster staring at me, and papers making sounds everytime I lean back.
you know, I know my attyitude has cg=hanged. all the people i have told to fuck off, i've been talking to again which im afaraid may be givng them false hope.
since i know one of them is reading this, i feel as though i should say this nicely.
nothing has really changed.
i simply have good days sometimes hwere i dont really care about people annoying me.
and umm...
the thing where you said soemthing about my brother in gym class?
yah.
dont.
if i lie, and you know it, i assume you know it and expaect you to just keep going with it.
i have to do that with a lot of my " friends" now. i'll tell them how my weekend was in general but change the details to make them less....incriminating.
so yah.
now that that's cleared up, im gonna go play with my hair I think. maybe some braids or beads.
hope everyone's life is going better than mine.
peace
im sitting here with leeroy playing strong bad beside me, my Edward poster staring at me, and papers making sounds everytime I lean back.
you know, I know my attyitude has cg=hanged. all the people i have told to fuck off, i've been talking to again which im afaraid may be givng them false hope.
since i know one of them is reading this, i feel as though i should say this nicely.
nothing has really changed.
i simply have good days sometimes hwere i dont really care about people annoying me.
and umm...
the thing where you said soemthing about my brother in gym class?
yah.
dont.
if i lie, and you know it, i assume you know it and expaect you to just keep going with it.
i have to do that with a lot of my " friends" now. i'll tell them how my weekend was in general but change the details to make them less....incriminating.
so yah.
now that that's cleared up, im gonna go play with my hair I think. maybe some braids or beads.
hope everyone's life is going better than mine.
peace
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
HE- FUCKING -LLO
well hot flocking damn!
haven't updated here in a while!
basically---
C went to jail for 5 days
M is currently in jail for threatening S.S. supposedly even though i dont think he did it
when they came to take M's compy away for inspection they saw the house and didnt like it so they called DSS whjo is maing us clean like mofos
OR----
kailtyn sperad it around that my house is gross so the school board got ahold of it and they reported us. which we actually have evidence of from our informants and the fact that when our sheriff came for the compy she started taking pics of the house and saying our house wasnt fit for epople.
hell yes it is. suck my cock.
so he's in jail.
grandma had a stroke.
dad's goign to stay with gramps and tina for a few days.
he's gonna visit grandma in mayr washington hospital.
my hair has pink streaks in it.
i miss my brother.
my parents want me to do homeschool.
and i think i might for next semester just to see if i liek it.
cuz then i ciuld go see Sara in PA again.
oh.
i went o her house.
for a weekend.
it was fun, made soem friends... had a flour fight... went corning for cars and her dog got hit.
watched them play twister.
"if you're not wearing underwear, left foot red"
rode up with Penza his mom, candace and his moms boyfriend.
they dropped us in breezewood where Sara's dad picked us up.
the frist night no one was thwere.
then the next day was her party.
i think i remember more but im tired.
gnight.
haven't updated here in a while!
basically---
C went to jail for 5 days
M is currently in jail for threatening S.S. supposedly even though i dont think he did it
when they came to take M's compy away for inspection they saw the house and didnt like it so they called DSS whjo is maing us clean like mofos
OR----
kailtyn sperad it around that my house is gross so the school board got ahold of it and they reported us. which we actually have evidence of from our informants and the fact that when our sheriff came for the compy she started taking pics of the house and saying our house wasnt fit for epople.
hell yes it is. suck my cock.
so he's in jail.
grandma had a stroke.
dad's goign to stay with gramps and tina for a few days.
he's gonna visit grandma in mayr washington hospital.
my hair has pink streaks in it.
i miss my brother.
my parents want me to do homeschool.
and i think i might for next semester just to see if i liek it.
cuz then i ciuld go see Sara in PA again.
oh.
i went o her house.
for a weekend.
it was fun, made soem friends... had a flour fight... went corning for cars and her dog got hit.
watched them play twister.
"if you're not wearing underwear, left foot red"
rode up with Penza his mom, candace and his moms boyfriend.
they dropped us in breezewood where Sara's dad picked us up.
the frist night no one was thwere.
then the next day was her party.
i think i remember more but im tired.
gnight.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
wtf
i know life isnt always fair, but why the fuck do we always get the brunt of it?
I was born to two emotionally immature parents, both manic depressive, both with addictive personalities.My mother is an alcoholic with no sense of mothering a girl.
my father is simply depressive and decides to take it out on others randomly.
plus, i have a huge headache and now I'M depressed.
god this sucks.
I was born to two emotionally immature parents, both manic depressive, both with addictive personalities.My mother is an alcoholic with no sense of mothering a girl.
my father is simply depressive and decides to take it out on others randomly.
plus, i have a huge headache and now I'M depressed.
god this sucks.
Friday, September 19, 2008
good mood :) it was a good day
here again.
dad came home yesterday. he and mom picked me up from school during 4th period.
we went to front royal to get dad's Prozac prescription filled, and he cried pretty much the whole time. which is completely understandable, i mean i would have been more concerned if he hadnt been crying or talking non stop like he was.
so last night me mitchell leeroy corbin and dad sat in mitchells room talking and having a good time untillike 2 in the morning when i had to go to sleep for school in 4 hours.
so skip ahead to 4th period today when i read a poem i had written about him coming home.
ms. gallo passed out the new issues of Teen Ink, i sit right next to her btw, she recommended a story on page 30...we ended up having a whole long discussion of our lives.
it was actually rather therapuetic.
so now im home, i made microwave cookies.
they turned out to be like one huge cookie on the plate. dont taste too bad though.
so now ima go either make food or just sit here and keep talkign to leeroy about harry potter.
peace
dad came home yesterday. he and mom picked me up from school during 4th period.
we went to front royal to get dad's Prozac prescription filled, and he cried pretty much the whole time. which is completely understandable, i mean i would have been more concerned if he hadnt been crying or talking non stop like he was.
so last night me mitchell leeroy corbin and dad sat in mitchells room talking and having a good time untillike 2 in the morning when i had to go to sleep for school in 4 hours.
so skip ahead to 4th period today when i read a poem i had written about him coming home.
ms. gallo passed out the new issues of Teen Ink, i sit right next to her btw, she recommended a story on page 30...we ended up having a whole long discussion of our lives.
it was actually rather therapuetic.
so now im home, i made microwave cookies.
they turned out to be like one huge cookie on the plate. dont taste too bad though.
so now ima go either make food or just sit here and keep talkign to leeroy about harry potter.
peace
Friday, September 12, 2008
yo
haven't had a new post for a while.
ima skip all the bullshit and just go to what happened today.
came home.
made soemthing to eat.
git in the shower.
answered an IM from leeroy i got while in said shower
tried to call up to dad to see if he could give leeroy a ride here
got mitchell to jump over the board dad had put up at the bottom of the steps to keep the animals out to talk to him and see if he could pick leeroy up
talked to jes
heard mitchell yelling at dad
went upstairs to investigate
found dad foaming at the mouth and barely conscious
held him up while mitchell interrogated him about what drugs he had taken
saw the suicide note he had written on his t.v. screen
held him up while he puked
sat in my room while the cops were here
watched my father who had obviously over dosed get wheeled out of our house in this chair he was strapped into and actually made eye contact with him but he wasnt aware of his surroundings and couldnt talk for anything but a mumble
found dad's car crashed into a stump with the keys locked inside to keep us form saving him
me leroy mitchell mom ginger and roger all went to fauquier hospital where he asked how my day was.
sat outside by the truck for the rest of the night writing poetry and having a sing a long to keep my mind off of it with mitchell nd leeroy
went in to see him right bfore we left and he seemed a little more coherent.
saw that he had written DNR (do not resucitate) on his palm
came home and wrote this.
there are more details but it's really hard to write everything.
i just hope that none of you ever have to go through what i am.
it's dreadful.
ima skip all the bullshit and just go to what happened today.
came home.
made soemthing to eat.
git in the shower.
answered an IM from leeroy i got while in said shower
tried to call up to dad to see if he could give leeroy a ride here
got mitchell to jump over the board dad had put up at the bottom of the steps to keep the animals out to talk to him and see if he could pick leeroy up
talked to jes
heard mitchell yelling at dad
went upstairs to investigate
found dad foaming at the mouth and barely conscious
held him up while mitchell interrogated him about what drugs he had taken
saw the suicide note he had written on his t.v. screen
held him up while he puked
sat in my room while the cops were here
watched my father who had obviously over dosed get wheeled out of our house in this chair he was strapped into and actually made eye contact with him but he wasnt aware of his surroundings and couldnt talk for anything but a mumble
found dad's car crashed into a stump with the keys locked inside to keep us form saving him
me leroy mitchell mom ginger and roger all went to fauquier hospital where he asked how my day was.
sat outside by the truck for the rest of the night writing poetry and having a sing a long to keep my mind off of it with mitchell nd leeroy
went in to see him right bfore we left and he seemed a little more coherent.
saw that he had written DNR (do not resucitate) on his palm
came home and wrote this.
there are more details but it's really hard to write everything.
i just hope that none of you ever have to go through what i am.
it's dreadful.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
so the truth comes out
sarah, this is going to suck really bad. i can pretty much promise you. i dont think that being friends is going to work for either of us. no offence, but there is no way that it could possibly go well. all you do is bring me down, and im already kind of low. so its not like your optimistic views on life are going to make me feel better about anything. all i do is try to ignore the stuff you say that bothers me, and thats pretty much it. i dont exactly feel great about saying all this, but it's time for me to think about whats in my best interest. i gave up on you changing anything, so this is about it. i dont like your drugs. i dont like your negativity. i dont like your attitude towards everything that i believe or say. you think im immature and acting like a little kid because im not like you? you're wrong. and your little "when you get into college your going to be so not prepared," because i dont do drugs and screw up my life like you do? whatever. your the one whos not going to be prepared. have fun frying your brain cells, but im not going to be your guniea pig for life destruction. you're pretty much your own science project. im not your friend. i never really was. because for some reason your uncapable of that. what is so great about your life that you try to persuade me to be like you for? your friends? like kaitlyn faulkner? the girl who changed herself into a self mutilating freak who toasts every bit of memory left in her? or leeroy. the guy who doesnt give a damn. or maybe logan? the guy who thinks he's cool because he can smoke. woop de fucking doo. im not saying this to make you feel bad, im saying this so you get the picture. i used to think you were too good for them, but now i see that your worse than them. because your smart. and you can be independent. yet you dont. ignorance cant possibly be your excuse, and thats the only one that works in my book. if you ever really need me, ill be here. but this entire time that i was here for you, its not like i did any good. your not really losing anything sarah. just remember that im not really a big part of your life. im disposable and i dont give a shit.
i replied to you, and i didnt put up a fight. it's not worth it anymore.
even if i told you what i wanted to tell you, you wouldnt listen.
that whenever i talk to you, my beliefs dont seem to matter.
you accuse me of the same thing. I have no fuckin idea how you could think that.
But i cant say things liek that. because then i'd get accused of soemthing else, liek being a bitch or a closed-minded asshole.
I could fight back and defend myself, but soemtimes i dont think im worth defending.
And now if you're reading this, you are most likely rolling your eyes at my drama like i know you do behind my back.
i know i say i pride my self on not being a girly bitch. And thats what i am when i fight back at you.
So this thing you want, the not being friends anymore?
that works for me.
you say you were never my friend? well, all those times i helped you with your problems, and you helped me with mine beg to differ.
I sit here, crying becasue our friendship is over, and when i think about it, it doesnt matter.
When i dream about my future, i now realize i never thought of you being one of the people i kept in contact with.
maybe that was a sign.
Still, this email surprises me slightly. When we were talking about this, you didnt seem to be so bitter. But i guess everyone has their secrets.
Alright. if we're gonna be honest, i guess i should join in.
you scare me just as much as your dad does.
and that's a lot. You remind me a lot of him.
hmm.. what else...
I also agree with your parents soemtimes.
Liek with the whole " it's just the human body thing"
yah. i belive in that.
you dont have to be so grossed out by it if you just accept it.
and the masturbation thing.
it IS healthy and it IS normal.
dont try to tell me it's not normal just because you dont do it.
you seem to think you made a lot of sacrifices for our friendship. at least, thats what it sounds like. and thinking about it, both of us did.
you put up with my negativity, and i put up with your close-mindedness.
While i will miss being able to talk to you, i dont think i'll miss this thing we had.
i'm not sure how we lasted this friggin long.
this doesnt really surprise me very much. When i saw you this weekend, i was wondering in passing when soemthing like this, you getting tired of me, would happen.
i never tried to make you become someone liek me.
you're twisting what happened to fit your argument.
i told you not to knock it till you tried it.
you said that if you were around it, you would do it.
i said that if you ever came over and didnt want to do anything i wouldnt make you or even suggest it.
how is that trying to make you do soemthing?
You want to believe i'm the scum of the earth?
that's fine by me hon.
I'm sure you're not the only one.
in the meantime, i will continue tryign to figure out who i am.
i suggest you do the same, because you sound just as confused as i am, if not more.
oh, and for the record, i really dont give a damn how it works in "your book"
So, this is goodbye. because im not allowing this to happen again( this is what, the third time?).
ending a friendship takes a lot out of a person....
**************************************
in other news.
i still havent done my summer work. school starts monday.
i have mice in my room. with all these fuckin cats...
im gonna go delete my myspace.
i'll tell derrick to talk to me through gmail.
ima try to sleep soon. gnight.
love ,
Sarah
i replied to you, and i didnt put up a fight. it's not worth it anymore.
even if i told you what i wanted to tell you, you wouldnt listen.
that whenever i talk to you, my beliefs dont seem to matter.
you accuse me of the same thing. I have no fuckin idea how you could think that.
But i cant say things liek that. because then i'd get accused of soemthing else, liek being a bitch or a closed-minded asshole.
I could fight back and defend myself, but soemtimes i dont think im worth defending.
And now if you're reading this, you are most likely rolling your eyes at my drama like i know you do behind my back.
i know i say i pride my self on not being a girly bitch. And thats what i am when i fight back at you.
So this thing you want, the not being friends anymore?
that works for me.
you say you were never my friend? well, all those times i helped you with your problems, and you helped me with mine beg to differ.
I sit here, crying becasue our friendship is over, and when i think about it, it doesnt matter.
When i dream about my future, i now realize i never thought of you being one of the people i kept in contact with.
maybe that was a sign.
Still, this email surprises me slightly. When we were talking about this, you didnt seem to be so bitter. But i guess everyone has their secrets.
Alright. if we're gonna be honest, i guess i should join in.
you scare me just as much as your dad does.
and that's a lot. You remind me a lot of him.
hmm.. what else...
I also agree with your parents soemtimes.
Liek with the whole " it's just the human body thing"
yah. i belive in that.
you dont have to be so grossed out by it if you just accept it.
and the masturbation thing.
it IS healthy and it IS normal.
dont try to tell me it's not normal just because you dont do it.
you seem to think you made a lot of sacrifices for our friendship. at least, thats what it sounds like. and thinking about it, both of us did.
you put up with my negativity, and i put up with your close-mindedness.
While i will miss being able to talk to you, i dont think i'll miss this thing we had.
i'm not sure how we lasted this friggin long.
this doesnt really surprise me very much. When i saw you this weekend, i was wondering in passing when soemthing like this, you getting tired of me, would happen.
i never tried to make you become someone liek me.
you're twisting what happened to fit your argument.
i told you not to knock it till you tried it.
you said that if you were around it, you would do it.
i said that if you ever came over and didnt want to do anything i wouldnt make you or even suggest it.
how is that trying to make you do soemthing?
You want to believe i'm the scum of the earth?
that's fine by me hon.
I'm sure you're not the only one.
in the meantime, i will continue tryign to figure out who i am.
i suggest you do the same, because you sound just as confused as i am, if not more.
oh, and for the record, i really dont give a damn how it works in "your book"
So, this is goodbye. because im not allowing this to happen again( this is what, the third time?).
ending a friendship takes a lot out of a person....
**************************************
in other news.
i still havent done my summer work. school starts monday.
i have mice in my room. with all these fuckin cats...
im gonna go delete my myspace.
i'll tell derrick to talk to me through gmail.
ima try to sleep soon. gnight.
love ,
Sarah
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
just another bored post
bored...tired...even though i woke up today around 5:30 p.m.
i finished kite runner...
today when i wake up later i'll do the assignment for it.
currently i'm watching these videos of college guys messing around in makeshift hot tubs.
which means three guys laying in tubs of water, pretending they're gay when it's obvious they aren't.
currently staring at the bottle of vodka i stole out from under mom's pillow.
she said she wouldnt drink anymore so i'm enforcing it.
i always do that when i find a bottle. steal it, and give it to mitchell or keep it.
it was kinda funny.
when i walked into my room with the bottle i was crying cuz i was disappointed in her. Leeroy sees the bottle in my hand, asks to see it, opens it, starts to take a sip, then looks up, sees i'm crying and stops with it a millimeter away from his mouth.
then he asks what's wrong , and i didnt tell him until i was in the midst of a panic attack after kaitlyn went home.
which was when we both ended up being a tad emo, and i started sketching him which never got done because i couldnt do his left arm right.
so yah.
obviously i ned to go back to school because i cant help but write run-ons.
ima go now becuase i'm staring to sound like a certain emo cunt which i dont wish to name,but i think i can gaurntee it's not you.
peace and love
Sarah
i finished kite runner...
today when i wake up later i'll do the assignment for it.
currently i'm watching these videos of college guys messing around in makeshift hot tubs.
which means three guys laying in tubs of water, pretending they're gay when it's obvious they aren't.
currently staring at the bottle of vodka i stole out from under mom's pillow.
she said she wouldnt drink anymore so i'm enforcing it.
i always do that when i find a bottle. steal it, and give it to mitchell or keep it.
it was kinda funny.
when i walked into my room with the bottle i was crying cuz i was disappointed in her. Leeroy sees the bottle in my hand, asks to see it, opens it, starts to take a sip, then looks up, sees i'm crying and stops with it a millimeter away from his mouth.
then he asks what's wrong , and i didnt tell him until i was in the midst of a panic attack after kaitlyn went home.
which was when we both ended up being a tad emo, and i started sketching him which never got done because i couldnt do his left arm right.
so yah.
obviously i ned to go back to school because i cant help but write run-ons.
ima go now becuase i'm staring to sound like a certain emo cunt which i dont wish to name,but i think i can gaurntee it's not you.
peace and love
Sarah
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
BBAAAAAAAAAWWWWW
feeling hurt, and i dunno what else.
i know other people business isnt mine. they broke up. i didnt meant to break them up.
But in all honesty who the fuck does the things she did? this is precisely why i try not to have girlfriends anymore. i got tired of being hurt my their selfish shenanigans.
But i still think that sub consciously at least, he's mad at me for messing it up for them.
Even if i didnt do it, im glad they did break up on some level. I mean, i didnt want it to happen but deep in my mind i think its for the best.
Cmon. A guy about to turn 18 dating a girl about to turn 15?
yes, i know, if it had been me i wouldnt have had as much issue with it. but from the outside it looks ridiculous.
At least now i know i hyave no chance and i can start to try to get over him.
I think.
i still think it's funny that he pulled my head over, kissed it and said i had my first kiss.
but it doesnt count.
EMO ALERT
is till feel unlovable, like im destined to be an old virgin spinster.
I think i'm turning into one of those people who feels worthless unless they have another person's arm around their shoulder.
and it's true because i do feel worthless. i'm the only person my age who has never been in a relationship. Do you know who crappy that makes me feel?
i feel liek a sack of shit with no destination.
i can't wait for this weekend. By the time i get back from Sadie's with my Cambridge shit done, Leeroy will be at my house.
I hope there's no awkwardness. i dont think i'd be able to stand that. I mean, he's my brother, and one of my best friends.
i know other people business isnt mine. they broke up. i didnt meant to break them up.
But in all honesty who the fuck does the things she did? this is precisely why i try not to have girlfriends anymore. i got tired of being hurt my their selfish shenanigans.
But i still think that sub consciously at least, he's mad at me for messing it up for them.
Even if i didnt do it, im glad they did break up on some level. I mean, i didnt want it to happen but deep in my mind i think its for the best.
Cmon. A guy about to turn 18 dating a girl about to turn 15?
yes, i know, if it had been me i wouldnt have had as much issue with it. but from the outside it looks ridiculous.
At least now i know i hyave no chance and i can start to try to get over him.
I think.
i still think it's funny that he pulled my head over, kissed it and said i had my first kiss.
but it doesnt count.
EMO ALERT
is till feel unlovable, like im destined to be an old virgin spinster.
I think i'm turning into one of those people who feels worthless unless they have another person's arm around their shoulder.
and it's true because i do feel worthless. i'm the only person my age who has never been in a relationship. Do you know who crappy that makes me feel?
i feel liek a sack of shit with no destination.
i can't wait for this weekend. By the time i get back from Sadie's with my Cambridge shit done, Leeroy will be at my house.
I hope there's no awkwardness. i dont think i'd be able to stand that. I mean, he's my brother, and one of my best friends.
Friday, August 8, 2008
im alive
im shaking, i was so scared.
most of you will not know what happened, and i dont expect you to.
tests were inconclusive.
Now is the time to start living life the way i want to.
Now is the time to fight back against our Governmantal overlords.
this is not right.
we could have all just died and we were not notified.
the government doesnt give two fucks about the people. they only care about their status and their power.
i have a renewed sense of life. it is not something to be taken for granted. i will never cut or attempt suicide again, for i am lucky to be alive.
No this does not mean i believe in god. it just means i dont believe in our Superiors anymore.
i will live life the way i wan tto, and anyone who gets in the way can kiss my ass.
i realized today how scared i am of death when i dont want to be.
i want to be able to look it in the face and laugh at it until it bursts into tears.
just like i did when i thought i was going to die.
the tables are turned from this day forth.
we get the time we get and thats it. the end.
i need to accept that.
now, i am going to go have a good cry from the fucking scare i just got.
love peace and hope
Sarah
most of you will not know what happened, and i dont expect you to.
tests were inconclusive.
Now is the time to start living life the way i want to.
Now is the time to fight back against our Governmantal overlords.
this is not right.
we could have all just died and we were not notified.
the government doesnt give two fucks about the people. they only care about their status and their power.
i have a renewed sense of life. it is not something to be taken for granted. i will never cut or attempt suicide again, for i am lucky to be alive.
No this does not mean i believe in god. it just means i dont believe in our Superiors anymore.
i will live life the way i wan tto, and anyone who gets in the way can kiss my ass.
i realized today how scared i am of death when i dont want to be.
i want to be able to look it in the face and laugh at it until it bursts into tears.
just like i did when i thought i was going to die.
the tables are turned from this day forth.
we get the time we get and thats it. the end.
i need to accept that.
now, i am going to go have a good cry from the fucking scare i just got.
love peace and hope
Sarah
Thursday, August 7, 2008
holy jesus fucking christ
Guys we are quite possibly more fucked thwn this world has ever been before.
At midnight, LHC goes online.
LHC = lArge Hadron Collider.
this thing has the ability to create a black hole.
And our government will be testing it.
We will all quite possibly die.
if u are readint this after this period of time. i love you and never wanted to let you go.
but i am not in control of the government.
if we die tonight, im sorry.
i know its not my fault but ive known about this for a while but i didnt know it would ahaoppen so quickly. this is a test.
i .love you and i hope we live thru this.
love,
Sarah Virginia Young Ames
At midnight, LHC goes online.
LHC = lArge Hadron Collider.
this thing has the ability to create a black hole.
And our government will be testing it.
We will all quite possibly die.
if u are readint this after this period of time. i love you and never wanted to let you go.
but i am not in control of the government.
if we die tonight, im sorry.
i know its not my fault but ive known about this for a while but i didnt know it would ahaoppen so quickly. this is a test.
i .love you and i hope we live thru this.
love,
Sarah Virginia Young Ames
Friday, August 1, 2008
Im going to the moon and Im taking a head band
so im sitting here alone for the last 3 hours and i realize how depressed i am.
i mean, maybe it's the fact that my brother's girlfriend is almost my age, so it feels like he has a different sister he's replacing me with, or maybe the fact that Shelby is a complete pansy and refuses to own up to her feelings.
whatever,i should say. let people do what they want.
but when it affects me, it also involves me.and then it becomes kind of my business.
And thats about all im going to say because if i dont stop im gonna start crying again.
im trying to help K get over Allison, and it's not working too well.
i found the Jawbreaker from 7th grade, washed it off, then leeroy stole it. then i stole it back.
leeroy cut my hair for me. i really like it nowim actually brushing it everyday, and it feels nice. i have this one strand that's two feet long; the hair's previous length that i plan on never cutting. So when i'm like, 3o, im gonna have to keep it rolled or something.
A lot of people have been coming over: Corbin, Zack, morgan, and of course leeroy. thus, i have not done a SINGLE MOTHERFUCKING THING FOR MY CAMBRIDGE WORK. if i dont bget into those classes im gonna be so pissed. i plan on locking my self in my room this weekend until ive done a decent amount of it.
i did another sketch of leeroy that i think turned out pretty well.
i made a youtube playlist of songs to listen to when im depressed. surprisingly, it actually helps.
there was a opposum in my room last night. kaitlyn, Zack, Brian and mitchell were all in his room and i was in here checking my email. Suddenly, i hear K screamign that there's a opposum in my room. Im thinkin" wha the fuck? i dont see a oppossum..." i had seen a cat but i wasnt really paying attention and i thought it had jumped out the sliding glass door. so they all run in here and i tell them to calm donw, theres no oppossum. they leave, then after a few minutes i go back to his room. im looking in there and i see a kitten. im thinkin i dont have any kittens that size in my room, should i go check? i decide i would in a few minutes. then , after a few moments, soemthing in my room catches my eye. it's a cute as can be baby oppossum looking straight at me from across the hall in my room. i start freaking out, mitchell figures it out immedialty from me looking at my room, he jumps over the wii that zack was playing, and runs into my room as the oppossum runs under a drawer that had been pulled out of the dresser. Zack runs after him to help. me and kaitlyn are sitting there, still flipping our lids. brian's just kinda standing to the side in my room. They manage to catch it using a blanket and a trash can. Mitchell takes it outside to release it back into the wild. in short, i ned to pay more attention to discerning the difference between cats and oppossums.
the nigth before that there was a bat that flew into my room from the sliding glass door. im screaming, kaitlyn's screaming, Mitchell runs in after like, 2 minutes, dad comes in from the screaming.
today dad asked me if im building an ark. i flipped him off.
Zack got high for the first time last night. it was pretty funny, actually.
typing this post has actually made me feel a lot better. I dont know why. So, i updated, and im going to be doing so a lot more often.
<3 you guys.
peace
i mean, maybe it's the fact that my brother's girlfriend is almost my age, so it feels like he has a different sister he's replacing me with, or maybe the fact that Shelby is a complete pansy and refuses to own up to her feelings.
whatever,i should say. let people do what they want.
but when it affects me, it also involves me.and then it becomes kind of my business.
And thats about all im going to say because if i dont stop im gonna start crying again.
im trying to help K get over Allison, and it's not working too well.
i found the Jawbreaker from 7th grade, washed it off, then leeroy stole it. then i stole it back.
leeroy cut my hair for me. i really like it nowim actually brushing it everyday, and it feels nice. i have this one strand that's two feet long; the hair's previous length that i plan on never cutting. So when i'm like, 3o, im gonna have to keep it rolled or something.
A lot of people have been coming over: Corbin, Zack, morgan, and of course leeroy. thus, i have not done a SINGLE MOTHERFUCKING THING FOR MY CAMBRIDGE WORK. if i dont bget into those classes im gonna be so pissed. i plan on locking my self in my room this weekend until ive done a decent amount of it.
i did another sketch of leeroy that i think turned out pretty well.
i made a youtube playlist of songs to listen to when im depressed. surprisingly, it actually helps.
there was a opposum in my room last night. kaitlyn, Zack, Brian and mitchell were all in his room and i was in here checking my email. Suddenly, i hear K screamign that there's a opposum in my room. Im thinkin" wha the fuck? i dont see a oppossum..." i had seen a cat but i wasnt really paying attention and i thought it had jumped out the sliding glass door. so they all run in here and i tell them to calm donw, theres no oppossum. they leave, then after a few minutes i go back to his room. im looking in there and i see a kitten. im thinkin i dont have any kittens that size in my room, should i go check? i decide i would in a few minutes. then , after a few moments, soemthing in my room catches my eye. it's a cute as can be baby oppossum looking straight at me from across the hall in my room. i start freaking out, mitchell figures it out immedialty from me looking at my room, he jumps over the wii that zack was playing, and runs into my room as the oppossum runs under a drawer that had been pulled out of the dresser. Zack runs after him to help. me and kaitlyn are sitting there, still flipping our lids. brian's just kinda standing to the side in my room. They manage to catch it using a blanket and a trash can. Mitchell takes it outside to release it back into the wild. in short, i ned to pay more attention to discerning the difference between cats and oppossums.
the nigth before that there was a bat that flew into my room from the sliding glass door. im screaming, kaitlyn's screaming, Mitchell runs in after like, 2 minutes, dad comes in from the screaming.
today dad asked me if im building an ark. i flipped him off.
Zack got high for the first time last night. it was pretty funny, actually.
typing this post has actually made me feel a lot better. I dont know why. So, i updated, and im going to be doing so a lot more often.
<3 you guys.
peace
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
hello from a long time agao
ok
i cant ell what happened in williamsburg becuz ive lost the nothebook telling me what happened. so i'll tell you wat has happened since then.
Not much.
here's a list i guess.
1. i touched it. if you dont know what im talking about, theres no sence in asking.
2. got high for the first time
3. had logan over for a week. actually he's still here
4....thats about it i guess.
THERE! I FUCKING POSTED ! GOT THE FUCK OVER IT!!!!
i cant ell what happened in williamsburg becuz ive lost the nothebook telling me what happened. so i'll tell you wat has happened since then.
Not much.
here's a list i guess.
1. i touched it. if you dont know what im talking about, theres no sence in asking.
2. got high for the first time
3. had logan over for a week. actually he's still here
4....thats about it i guess.
THERE! I FUCKING POSTED ! GOT THE FUCK OVER IT!!!!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT
zomgh...
im a little fucked up. im having one of wehat Adam likes to call an episode...
which means im under the influence of somethiong...
Dude...
idk.
Im like blasting the title song at full volumeand no one evn cares... its great.
i dont have much else to say becuz one of these days im gonna make a huge ass post and everythingr ecent will be on it.
holt friggin fuck i cant type wghile hi8gh.
whatevrr. gbnight. peaces.
im a little fucked up. im having one of wehat Adam likes to call an episode...
which means im under the influence of somethiong...
Dude...
idk.
Im like blasting the title song at full volumeand no one evn cares... its great.
i dont have much else to say becuz one of these days im gonna make a huge ass post and everythingr ecent will be on it.
holt friggin fuck i cant type wghile hi8gh.
whatevrr. gbnight. peaces.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Einste!n Bagels
hi people. even though i know no one really looks at this anymore, i'm gonna keep posting. I am currently in Williamsburg with Logan and his family. IT's been raining today. i just fell down the stairs. monotone is fun. I geuss i'll post some more when i am actually able to access a computer without a time limit.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
oops blonde moment
i forgot to mention. I have been officially invited to spend a week in Williamsburg with Logan and his family on vacation.
And i'm going.
Sounds kinda like fun. I'm excited. Speaking of which i still need to pack and call him for details.
I leave this weekend.
damn i'm lazy.
And i'm going.
Sounds kinda like fun. I'm excited. Speaking of which i still need to pack and call him for details.
I leave this weekend.
damn i'm lazy.
blug
Here's an update in the form of the email i just sent to Sara. Cuz Sarah is amazingly lazy.
it was pretty fun. we got logan over at one point, and by the time he had left he had been forced to strip twice, once in the pool, another running around the house naked outside in the dark. it was so fucking hilarious.his ass is pale...
Dad moved back in and i just kinda realized how much i missed him. Leeroy's been over sincesunday. Right now he's going shopping with Dad... sounds wierd, but since i'm at gingers so i can go to the dentist, and mitchell's going to his counselour, he was going to be there all by himself so he went with dad.
hey, i'm just glad theyre getting along.
Not much else to report. I started wearing boxers... theyre comfy :)
i havnt slept today. We stayed up all night. i hid leeroy's shirt and gave him a scavenger hunt to find it. So we spent like 2 hours coming up with more hunts.
So to sum it up, i'm tired, hungry, and scared of the dentist.
Whatever. i'm gone peace guys
it was pretty fun. we got logan over at one point, and by the time he had left he had been forced to strip twice, once in the pool, another running around the house naked outside in the dark. it was so fucking hilarious.his ass is pale...
Dad moved back in and i just kinda realized how much i missed him. Leeroy's been over sincesunday. Right now he's going shopping with Dad... sounds wierd, but since i'm at gingers so i can go to the dentist, and mitchell's going to his counselour, he was going to be there all by himself so he went with dad.
hey, i'm just glad theyre getting along.
Not much else to report. I started wearing boxers... theyre comfy :)
i havnt slept today. We stayed up all night. i hid leeroy's shirt and gave him a scavenger hunt to find it. So we spent like 2 hours coming up with more hunts.
So to sum it up, i'm tired, hungry, and scared of the dentist.
Whatever. i'm gone peace guys
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
opinions...?
Is it weird that in 8th grade, i'm already looking for my senior quote(s)?
here's a few to sample, all by John Lennon:
Reality is only for people who can't cope with drugs
Reality leaves a lot to the imagination
If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace
Life is what happens when you are making other plans
To the youth who think they are silenced by the media and alienated from the world:
The future is yours. Have the patience of a pregnant woman. but don't wait for the world to reach you. You are the aware ones. Reach out. Reach out. Reach out with love. Love communicates, whereas hatred, in the end, doesn't. Extend your hand to middle America with love. There cannot be a true world revolution without the support of the silent majority.
that's my favorite one. i'm working on memorizing it.
here's a few to sample, all by John Lennon:
Reality is only for people who can't cope with drugs
Reality leaves a lot to the imagination
If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace
Life is what happens when you are making other plans
To the youth who think they are silenced by the media and alienated from the world:
The future is yours. Have the patience of a pregnant woman. but don't wait for the world to reach you. You are the aware ones. Reach out. Reach out. Reach out with love. Love communicates, whereas hatred, in the end, doesn't. Extend your hand to middle America with love. There cannot be a true world revolution without the support of the silent majority.
that's my favorite one. i'm working on memorizing it.
Written on paper yesterday
You know that thing about how when you get nervous you bite your fingernails?Well i have found that i bite mine when i get depressed. Today while swimming in the pool with Jessica and Mitchell flirting and snuggling on the other end i chewed my thumbnail to the nailbed. It used to be about an half and inch long.
it's about to rain. i'm siting outside the front door writing this in a white t-shirt.and tattered jeans. i never wear white... But i must say, it's a good change from the usual dreary black.
I'm gonna go inside and put on whatever music i damn well please. Fuck them.
that was written yesterday, here's todays entry.
I convinced mom to take me to gingers this morning so i could check my email(inbox=30!!!)
so here i am. A few things to report...
Kaitlyn's coming over Thursday, i think...
My Dad is coming back to live with us. Goodie.
I guess we'll see how it turns out, hmm?
I currently have a rat's nest where my hair used to be. I wouldn't be surprised if it spontaneously combusted right about now.
Fuck.
I dont know what i want right now. i pnly know what i dont want :
rum, or any type of alcohol
drama
soda
sugar
mindless flirting that will never go anywhere
whores.
fuck it.
I guess i'll just wait for Amanda or Leeroy to sign on.
fuck.
it's about to rain. i'm siting outside the front door writing this in a white t-shirt.and tattered jeans. i never wear white... But i must say, it's a good change from the usual dreary black.
I'm gonna go inside and put on whatever music i damn well please. Fuck them.
that was written yesterday, here's todays entry.
I convinced mom to take me to gingers this morning so i could check my email(inbox=30!!!)
so here i am. A few things to report...
Kaitlyn's coming over Thursday, i think...
My Dad is coming back to live with us. Goodie.
I guess we'll see how it turns out, hmm?
I currently have a rat's nest where my hair used to be. I wouldn't be surprised if it spontaneously combusted right about now.
Fuck.
I dont know what i want right now. i pnly know what i dont want :
rum, or any type of alcohol
drama
soda
sugar
mindless flirting that will never go anywhere
whores.
fuck it.
I guess i'll just wait for Amanda or Leeroy to sign on.
fuck.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
YOU DO NOT HAVE A VAGINA! BE A MAN!
yah, i kinda got the fact that you hated me when i found your birthday presents from me in my locker.
See? You proved my point. Go whine about killing yourself.
And no, it will not fucking make me happy you fucktard. You just proved my other point about you being an attention whore.
You see what i've written, but you don't change at all.
Sadie did the same thing to me that i'm doping to you. She made me realize that i was a
Pathetic
Attention seeking
Bitch who did not give a rat's ass about anyone else's problems.
Just like you.
So dont kill yourself. Just change.
Wanna know when the final straw came? Here. Read this.
Netsua: meow?
See? You proved my point. Go whine about killing yourself.
And no, it will not fucking make me happy you fucktard. You just proved my other point about you being an attention whore.
You see what i've written, but you don't change at all.
Sadie did the same thing to me that i'm doping to you. She made me realize that i was a
Pathetic
Attention seeking
Bitch who did not give a rat's ass about anyone else's problems.
Just like you.
So dont kill yourself. Just change.
Wanna know when the final straw came? Here. Read this.
Netsua: meow?
me: hey
Netsua: hello
and how are you doing?
3:57 PM me: my head hurts, my stomach hurts, amd my tea is to hot to drink :(
Netsua: 0.0
Is that why you weren't at school?
I probably shouldn't have gone - I'm pretty sick myself
me: basically. i was going to clean the dome today, but we decide this morning that i would stay here.
3:58 PM Netsua: ok
me: your not on your period. you cant bitch
Netsua: how do you know?
me: 'becasue you lacka vagina
Netsua: I could just feel shitty anyway
me: your still not allpwed to bitch
you dont bleed
3:59 PM Netsua: Or I could have had a shitty day
without a Sarah there to complain to
I must keep it all inside
how saddening
4:00 PM me: your not allowed to conmplain to soemone who bleeds for a week each month. we have our own problems :)
Netsua: I am allowed to complain.
That is all.
me: no your not
Netsua: Why not?
4:01 PM Just because I don't bleed (or so you think)
?
I can still have shit going on
4:02 PM me: but you dont have cramps so bad that you double over on the couch crying
Netsua: maybe not
but I still have a lot of thoughts to work
out
I've been thinking a lot recently
me: no maybe about it. i win. you are not allowed to complain
4:03 PM what were you saying?
thinking?
Netsua: yeah
about the world
and the social status of people around me
4:04 PM and things that should be thought about more often
me: yes probably
Netsua: and about the actions of humans
and how we think
and how experiences can vary so much
4:05 PM and how there are so many feelings to experience
and many of them aren't very straightforward
and how I honestly think I'm going slightly insane thinking about these things
4:06 PM me: dear, honestly, i think about these things all the time. you'll get used to it. i prmoise.
Netsua: and if my potential is really what people constantly tell me it is
please don't call me "dear"
4:07 PM that is what Alana calls me when she's in a bad mood
and she says it in a snotty, bitchy voice
...and how I've had nobody to talk to about all of these things
and how it's just a communication with myself
Why do you think i stopped talking?
You were just complaining like always and i got sick of it.
I loved you. I really did.
But you know, so many things happened.
like you trying to make me give you a BJ? yah, that still bothers me.
It was like, attempted rape, almost, but by a friend.
And the occasions where other people will be having a conversation, and you'll jump in with a depressing tidbit about how much your life sucks? Yah i used to do that too.
And yes. i realize that i'm the one that changed, just like Sadie.
You've always been like this and i'm just realizing it.
So i guess this is goodbye for now.
Mostly because im too much of a pussy to actually say anything.
Both of us are.
You dont realize how hard it is for me to say goodbye.
Probly just because i'm not mad at the moment. if i was it would be a hell of a lot easier.
So. Bye man. i think we'll meet up again, when we're older.
Love you.
Sarah
Why do you think i stopped talking?
You were just complaining like always and i got sick of it.
I loved you. I really did.
But you know, so many things happened.
like you trying to make me give you a BJ? yah, that still bothers me.
It was like, attempted rape, almost, but by a friend.
And the occasions where other people will be having a conversation, and you'll jump in with a depressing tidbit about how much your life sucks? Yah i used to do that too.
And yes. i realize that i'm the one that changed, just like Sadie.
You've always been like this and i'm just realizing it.
So i guess this is goodbye for now.
Mostly because im too much of a pussy to actually say anything.
Both of us are.
You dont realize how hard it is for me to say goodbye.
Probly just because i'm not mad at the moment. if i was it would be a hell of a lot easier.
So. Bye man. i think we'll meet up again, when we're older.
Love you.
Sarah
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Hello again
hey still here.
finished painting my room
going to do a touchup this weekend.
Leroy's going to help me move back into my room.
Oh, and i have a mess age for someone whom i know will not read this in a very long time:
The reason you can't come over? The reason i won't talk to you?
it's because i have realized that you are an
Immature
Whiny
Self-Absorbed
Attention- Seeking
Douche Bag.
and no, i dont want to say it to your face so dont even ask. I'd rather you not go hime and kill youself like the emo fuck you are.
Goddamned cunt. You're more feminine than i am.
AND YOUR FAKE ACCENT IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY SO STOP DOING IT TO GET ATTENTION!
AND STOP JUMPING OVER CHAIRS AND TABLES JUST TO PROVE YOU CAN! YOU HAVE FEET LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! YOU'RE NOT BETTER THAN THE REST OF THE HUMAN RACE! SO JUST KEEP YOUR OVER INFLATED EGO TO YOURSELF AND LEAVE ME ALONE! I HATE YOUR VOICE!
there. i feel much better.
finished painting my room
going to do a touchup this weekend.
Leroy's going to help me move back into my room.
Oh, and i have a mess age for someone whom i know will not read this in a very long time:
The reason you can't come over? The reason i won't talk to you?
it's because i have realized that you are an
Immature
Whiny
Self-Absorbed
Attention- Seeking
Douche Bag.
and no, i dont want to say it to your face so dont even ask. I'd rather you not go hime and kill youself like the emo fuck you are.
Goddamned cunt. You're more feminine than i am.
AND YOUR FAKE ACCENT IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY SO STOP DOING IT TO GET ATTENTION!
AND STOP JUMPING OVER CHAIRS AND TABLES JUST TO PROVE YOU CAN! YOU HAVE FEET LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! YOU'RE NOT BETTER THAN THE REST OF THE HUMAN RACE! SO JUST KEEP YOUR OVER INFLATED EGO TO YOURSELF AND LEAVE ME ALONE! I HATE YOUR VOICE!
there. i feel much better.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Answer- Daily Double
will do Amanda
it's not that bad. im trying to keep upbeat. it could have been a lot worse...
But i got to paint it!
You know how the house is wired so we have more walls than usual in our rooms?
well, i have 14.
I did very other wall purple, then green.
it looks awesome.
Love yah
it's not that bad. im trying to keep upbeat. it could have been a lot worse...
But i got to paint it!
You know how the house is wired so we have more walls than usual in our rooms?
well, i have 14.
I did very other wall purple, then green.
it looks awesome.
Love yah
Monday, May 12, 2008
GAH!
Sarah is going to need an extension on her term paper. We did not know till we started cleaning up that it was lost in the fire in her room. Unfortunately it was on the dresser that burned. She will get it done as quickly as she can.
When was your fire? I'm sorry to hear about that. The actual due date for the paper was April 25 -- I gave a two week extension and have expressed/published that no papers will be accepted after May 12. This puts me in a bit of a pickle. I can accept it after today for a completion grade of 50%. Is this acceptable?
Mrs. Thompson
I suppose it will have to be. It may take the rest of the week to get it together. We have not tried her computer yet to see if it was damaged. It was hot enough to melt her curtain rod 10 feet away, so I am not to optimistic about it. If we are able to retrieve the information from the computer it won't be that bad.
w00t. i get a 50.
stupid bitch.
I HAD A MOTHER FUCKING FIRE!!!!!!
GAH!
When was your fire? I'm sorry to hear about that. The actual due date for the paper was April 25 -- I gave a two week extension and have expressed/published that no papers will be accepted after May 12. This puts me in a bit of a pickle. I can accept it after today for a completion grade of 50%. Is this acceptable?
Mrs. Thompson
I suppose it will have to be. It may take the rest of the week to get it together. We have not tried her computer yet to see if it was damaged. It was hot enough to melt her curtain rod 10 feet away, so I am not to optimistic about it. If we are able to retrieve the information from the computer it won't be that bad.
w00t. i get a 50.
stupid bitch.
I HAD A MOTHER FUCKING FIRE!!!!!!
GAH!
checking in
Hot fucking damn it's been a while!
Well, i'm back home. Dont have internet there yet, so i (obviously) wont be updating as much.
here's my most recent email to Sara: On thursday, My dresser burned down while i was at school.
Apparently i left a candle burning(which i thought was out)
i'll send you the pics of my room.
it's all black, and this was a five foot dresser! about 2 foot wide. huge.
i ddint have much in there.
But the four things mitchell managed to save were related to the beatles:
My beatles love album
My beatles book
My copy of people magazine that haf a section about john lennon
and a shoe box with dried flowers from valentines day and my grandmothers hospitla room.
Also in the box was the bible that i *stole* from her room.
But, it's related to the beatles becasue in the song rock Racoon, they talk about him finding gidians bible
( The gidians are a religious group)
So yah.
i have to sleep in mitchell's room cuz my room is uninhabitable.
Mitchell ddint call the firemen
he put it out by himself.
oh,
and my research paper on jimmy carter was in there.
it was due today.
Ms Thompson wont let me redo it.
stupid cunt.
IT WAS IN A FUCKING FIRE!!!!!!
sorry.
So that tells you a little bit about whats going on.
Last night i ha a dream that i snorted coke, then while still feeling the affects, i lost my virnnity.
then, the next one, i was a guy in a wheel chair. then there was this other dude, and we were trying to find a place for him to give me a blow job.
We found this room like a hospital room with some asian chick in ti. I jumped out of my wheel chair and onto the table. Then the guy gave me a blow job.
WHAT THE FUCK??????
dude, i woke up this morning, and im like,
Wait, what?
and yah.
i'll post some pics of my room when i get the chance.
Peace guys
Well, i'm back home. Dont have internet there yet, so i (obviously) wont be updating as much.
here's my most recent email to Sara: On thursday, My dresser burned down while i was at school.
Apparently i left a candle burning(which i thought was out)
i'll send you the pics of my room.
it's all black, and this was a five foot dresser! about 2 foot wide. huge.
i ddint have much in there.
But the four things mitchell managed to save were related to the beatles:
My beatles love album
My beatles book
My copy of people magazine that haf a section about john lennon
and a shoe box with dried flowers from valentines day and my grandmothers hospitla room.
Also in the box was the bible that i *stole* from her room.
But, it's related to the beatles becasue in the song rock Racoon, they talk about him finding gidians bible
( The gidians are a religious group)
So yah.
i have to sleep in mitchell's room cuz my room is uninhabitable.
Mitchell ddint call the firemen
he put it out by himself.
oh,
and my research paper on jimmy carter was in there.
it was due today.
Ms Thompson wont let me redo it.
stupid cunt.
IT WAS IN A FUCKING FIRE!!!!!!
sorry.
So that tells you a little bit about whats going on.
Last night i ha a dream that i snorted coke, then while still feeling the affects, i lost my virnnity.
then, the next one, i was a guy in a wheel chair. then there was this other dude, and we were trying to find a place for him to give me a blow job.
We found this room like a hospital room with some asian chick in ti. I jumped out of my wheel chair and onto the table. Then the guy gave me a blow job.
WHAT THE FUCK??????
dude, i woke up this morning, and im like,
Wait, what?
and yah.
i'll post some pics of my room when i get the chance.
Peace guys
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
hiya!
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
i found this comic hilarious. the others are great too.
i want asparagus. :(
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Back from a six hour drive
so, we went shopping, and we were on our way to Vienna. No, we were in Vienna, and mitchell calls and says that we dont have to pick him up until Tuesday. we were 10 minutes away from the metro station, and he was still in Maryland. So, i know he's an ass, but im not too upset. i got to go to home depot. i love that place :)
i got the stuff for rome day, and i just cut up some peiaces of almost stale bread like they used to have, and i cut some cheeses cubes, i have raisins, and olives, and plates, and cups. that was a run-on.
i got the stuff for rome day, and i just cut up some peiaces of almost stale bread like they used to have, and i cut some cheeses cubes, i have raisins, and olives, and plates, and cups. that was a run-on.
human rights-Jimmy Carter much?:
i was really bored so i went to the-n.com and started taking quizzes. just felt like checking in. i have to pick up mutchell from the metro station with mom, and go shopping for Rome Day tomorrow. that's about it. bye!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
rebuttle
ok, im going to attempt to sort this out. I know im going to fail miserably, but whatever.
Dude, my life has been flipped upside down. i dont understand this any more than you do.
Another thing i dont understand is you blaming him for this. it's my body; my decision.
i know that if i told him i wanted to quit drinking, quit smoking, he would support me, and keep an eye out for what i want from myself.
I know your talking to me like an outsider looking in. And i know have crushed all of my previously principles. i dont know what to tell you otherwise.
i know you are going to stop caring. But i do appreciate the insight you gave me before you did.
love, me.
- That post was written before i knew exactly why you were mad at me.
- You of all people should know that morals actually do change.
- i am personally still trying to sort out the drugs and alcohol stuff. Just give me some time. and i know what your going to say," If i give you the time your asking for you'll be dead by then!" and i dont know how to respond to that.
Dude, my life has been flipped upside down. i dont understand this any more than you do.
Another thing i dont understand is you blaming him for this. it's my body; my decision.
i know that if i told him i wanted to quit drinking, quit smoking, he would support me, and keep an eye out for what i want from myself.
I know your talking to me like an outsider looking in. And i know have crushed all of my previously principles. i dont know what to tell you otherwise.
i know you are going to stop caring. But i do appreciate the insight you gave me before you did.
love, me.
Monday, April 14, 2008
wtf?
Sadie, i dont see how i lied to you. i did not tell you we got high, but that was only because you were already calling me a skank for sleeping in the same tent as leeroy! Plus, we were talking about it during latin class! how the hell was i supposed to tell you about it when
1, hunter was right there, and ,
2 you wouldnt let me get a word in edgewise?
then , i was gonna tell yuo after class, but you went off to talk to chrissy. i didnt get a chance. And yes, i know it sounds like im blaming it all on you, but i dont mean to. if i had really wanted to tell you, i would have. But, i figured you would read it on here. and you did, but you say i lied to you. The only way i could have lied to you would have been if i said " no, we didnt get high!"
thats lying. not saying something is just omitting. And why wont you look at me? i was trying to talk to you, but you wouldnt let me. i dont want you mad at me. just talk to me.
On a different subject, i have a 100% in geometry, which i brought up from a 0.
Mitchell is helping me sort out some things im confused about with my friends and stuff, and it's kinda helping i understand some more, and my self esteem has risen ever so slightly.
Mitchell got laid off from work, so he's home all the time now.
this Sunday is 4/20. Mitchell's gonna try to have some friends over at our real house which means he might be spending this week cleaning it and getting it ready. Fuck yeah. Yet, thinking about it, i probably wont even do it. the memory loss scared me. Besides, it will prolly be good to have at least one sober person there... :)
Mitchell got me three packs of camels, that i gave him the money for. But the dumb cracker got regular when i do lights, and they dont have filters :( Assmunch.
whatever. im not complaining (much).
well, that about sums it up. Grammy is dying, so maybe we'll be home by next week? idk anymore. Love ya, bye
1, hunter was right there, and ,
2 you wouldnt let me get a word in edgewise?
then , i was gonna tell yuo after class, but you went off to talk to chrissy. i didnt get a chance. And yes, i know it sounds like im blaming it all on you, but i dont mean to. if i had really wanted to tell you, i would have. But, i figured you would read it on here. and you did, but you say i lied to you. The only way i could have lied to you would have been if i said " no, we didnt get high!"
thats lying. not saying something is just omitting. And why wont you look at me? i was trying to talk to you, but you wouldnt let me. i dont want you mad at me. just talk to me.
On a different subject, i have a 100% in geometry, which i brought up from a 0.
Mitchell is helping me sort out some things im confused about with my friends and stuff, and it's kinda helping i understand some more, and my self esteem has risen ever so slightly.
Mitchell got laid off from work, so he's home all the time now.
this Sunday is 4/20. Mitchell's gonna try to have some friends over at our real house which means he might be spending this week cleaning it and getting it ready. Fuck yeah. Yet, thinking about it, i probably wont even do it. the memory loss scared me. Besides, it will prolly be good to have at least one sober person there... :)
Mitchell got me three packs of camels, that i gave him the money for. But the dumb cracker got regular when i do lights, and they dont have filters :( Assmunch.
whatever. im not complaining (much).
well, that about sums it up. Grammy is dying, so maybe we'll be home by next week? idk anymore. Love ya, bye
Thursday, April 10, 2008
*sigh
i went to visit Grammy yesterday with mom. We were there for like an hour, we brought flowers and everything. then, this morning on the way to school, Ginger calls mom. She tells mom that Grammy told her this morning on the phone that we were never there. in fact, she told us on the phone last night to not come. Do you understand this? i dont. oh! and as we were headed for the elevator, this old guy starts talking to us as if 1, he knows us, and 2 he knows the person weve been visiting, and its a he. he says like, " If you come back tomorrow, he'd really appreciate it " shit like that. Hospitals are depressing.
Monday, April 7, 2008
dude...
camped out this weekend with leeroy and austen. i know someones gonna yell, but we got high, and we tried to roast marshmallows on the dying fires. in short, it was really fun... As soon as my grandmother kicks the bucket and i move back home, im gonna have a party. pretty much, anyone who doesnt snitch can come.i know im gonna invite Josh, Logan and Austen, but more can be added. Just finished dinner here. it's Ginger and Roger's anniversary, so we had steak and baked potatoes. Yum. i know i sound kinda out of it, and i am, but im fne. ima go now. buhbye
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Not a Rhetorical post. Answer me.
Do me a favor? IF you live in virginia, stand up, and walk out the closest door or open a window for a moment. Feel the change in winds and texture of the air? Those are the winds of change. I don't know what will happen to you, but I have a good notion of what's going to happen to me. It is my personal opinion that my grandmother will be dead within two weeks. Sometimes the effect of the weather on you is predictable. i know this sounds really wierd, but look deep into yourself, and try seeing what might happen. just try. What do you see? Tell me.
Monday, March 31, 2008
To All It May Concern
So today i went to Dr.Deckers and talked to him. Dad dropped me off here, nad i walked in. i went in my grandmothers room to check on her and to tell her i was here. Apparently, before Martha and Mitchell left, Grammy messed her pants badly. So they cleaned her up a bit. then, they left without saying goodbye, so she didnt know if they were there or not. So i come in, and my grandmother is in the bed. She tells me that she didnt want it to happen again, and hadnt wanted to get up in case the motion made it happen, so she hadnt gotten up to pee, and had done it in the bed . Great. So i make her get up, i change the dirty sheets, and get her a new shirt. then, while she is still on the toilet, she tells me to get a warm wet rag and clean her back off. not wanting to do, i do it anyway. This was all as i walked in the door. i hadnt even put my stuff down when she started giving me orders. So, this 14 year old girl is rinsing off her grandmothers back. The room stinks like shit, and she is being a bitch like always. She sees some of her mess on the floor and she wants me to clean it up. And i do. So i changed the gross blankets and put more on the bed. When im done and she is finally in bed, i leave. i get to the computer room and im about to sit down when she calls me back. i go back there.
"Oh, never mind."
ok. So i leave again. Then, i get to the computer room, and she yells about her heating pad.
So i go back there and put the pad on high and i tuck it on her shoulder.
then i came up here to type this.
This post is not just going to be me bitching. im tired of bitching. im tired of dealing with this. i am tired of dealing with life. Which is why tonight, i am going to end it all. i have done some research, and have found that if i mix my grandmother's cholesterol pill with niquil, it will kill me in about 25 minutes. So, i have the niquil right here next to me, and i can see the box which contains the bottle of pills. If you are thinking about how much i have to look forward to, shut the fuck up. the only chance i am going to have to move back home is when my grandmother dies. Even then, I personally wont be able to move in until the house is clean and the cats are gone. So, here is my Last Will And Testament.
I, Sarah Virginia Young Ames, being of sound body and unsound mind, do wish to proceed my Will and Testament.
To Austen Havens Orien Cloud, i wish to give all of my cigarettes that i may have lying around. Also, the gloves from hot topic, Blue, and my seventh grade portfolio. Also, my Beatles posters other than the one Adam picks out. Please help him do it.
To Adam Ryan Carter, i wish to give every single pen or pencil i own, or have ever owned. Also,one beatles poster so you may actually learn their names, and which ones are alive and dead.
To Mitchell Douglas Young Ames, my brother. i wish to give furniture, and my room of he still wants it.
To Eve Iris Nealon. i wish to give my barbie perfume, and any Axe i may have left.
To Christopher Earl Mitchell (Leeroy), my "brother" I leave my slinky, and Tiny Lego Man. Also,if you wish, you can have copies of the pictures from the mall.
To Lois Marie Young,i leave my clothes that she wants, because she wears them anyway.
To Mark Duane Ames i leave all of my music videos and dvds.
to Sara Michelle Kitchen i leave all of my teddy bears.
To... i don't know who else. what ever you want, i guess, you can have. but be nice to each other about it.
I just finished my last cigarrete, and i'm going to go steal one of my mom's beers for my last drink.
Love you. Bye.
P.S. read the comment section. if you dont, i haunt you till you die
"Oh, never mind."
ok. So i leave again. Then, i get to the computer room, and she yells about her heating pad.
So i go back there and put the pad on high and i tuck it on her shoulder.
then i came up here to type this.
This post is not just going to be me bitching. im tired of bitching. im tired of dealing with this. i am tired of dealing with life. Which is why tonight, i am going to end it all. i have done some research, and have found that if i mix my grandmother's cholesterol pill with niquil, it will kill me in about 25 minutes. So, i have the niquil right here next to me, and i can see the box which contains the bottle of pills. If you are thinking about how much i have to look forward to, shut the fuck up. the only chance i am going to have to move back home is when my grandmother dies. Even then, I personally wont be able to move in until the house is clean and the cats are gone. So, here is my Last Will And Testament.
I, Sarah Virginia Young Ames, being of sound body and unsound mind, do wish to proceed my Will and Testament.
To Austen Havens Orien Cloud, i wish to give all of my cigarettes that i may have lying around. Also, the gloves from hot topic, Blue, and my seventh grade portfolio. Also, my Beatles posters other than the one Adam picks out. Please help him do it.
To Adam Ryan Carter, i wish to give every single pen or pencil i own, or have ever owned. Also,one beatles poster so you may actually learn their names, and which ones are alive and dead.
To Mitchell Douglas Young Ames, my brother. i wish to give furniture, and my room of he still wants it.
To Eve Iris Nealon. i wish to give my barbie perfume, and any Axe i may have left.
To Christopher Earl Mitchell (Leeroy), my "brother" I leave my slinky, and Tiny Lego Man. Also,if you wish, you can have copies of the pictures from the mall.
To Lois Marie Young,i leave my clothes that she wants, because she wears them anyway.
To Mark Duane Ames i leave all of my music videos and dvds.
to Sara Michelle Kitchen i leave all of my teddy bears.
To... i don't know who else. what ever you want, i guess, you can have. but be nice to each other about it.
I just finished my last cigarrete, and i'm going to go steal one of my mom's beers for my last drink.
Love you. Bye.
P.S. read the comment section. if you dont, i haunt you till you die
Thursday, March 27, 2008
overdue
i know i havnt posted in a while but i dont get a chance often, you know? Well, basically, two days ago, my dad came here, after pretty much leaving, which is when we moved in, Anyhow, after about 20 minutes, Grammy basicllay told him to get the fuck out. What a functional family. Well, i'm going to see him tomorrow,one of his days off from work...yes work! he finally found a job! he works part time for Circuit City in winchester! i'm so happy for him! anyhow. Well probably be going to amovie and lunch and stuff cuz i havnt seen him in forever and ever. But, not everything is ahppy. i just wrote this draft of an email i might send to mitchell if he ever pisses me off to much like he almost did just now. here it is:
you know, the only thing in this worl that you have done for me is make it miserable. You tell me to grow up, when you are the one that acts like he's still in 9th grade. I'm still 14. you, my friend are the reason that i had no childhood. yah. i still blame you, and i always will. i don't want you to kill your self, i want you to change. i want you to realize that life doesnt always go your way, and that when it doesnt, you cant just break the television set and go to sleep. It doesnt work. Not once, Not once have you taken responsiblity fro your actions. yiur 18 now. Stop acting like a douch bag, grow some balls, and grow the fuck up.
Nice? i liked it at the time. havnt reread it yet.
When dad came he brought the presents from Dead Denise , which were a wallet, stationary, and a kick ass alarm clock. Dad and nancy included stuff to. zMagazine clippings, Snail shaped cookies!,little cloth snails (about the size of a quarter) and these tattoos from the poptarts box. Just little stuff, but the little stuff is what counts.
well, i'll tell you what happens tomorrow when i get back. Love ya! Bye
you know, the only thing in this worl that you have done for me is make it miserable. You tell me to grow up, when you are the one that acts like he's still in 9th grade. I'm still 14. you, my friend are the reason that i had no childhood. yah. i still blame you, and i always will. i don't want you to kill your self, i want you to change. i want you to realize that life doesnt always go your way, and that when it doesnt, you cant just break the television set and go to sleep. It doesnt work. Not once, Not once have you taken responsiblity fro your actions. yiur 18 now. Stop acting like a douch bag, grow some balls, and grow the fuck up.
Nice? i liked it at the time. havnt reread it yet.
When dad came he brought the presents from Dead Denise , which were a wallet, stationary, and a kick ass alarm clock. Dad and nancy included stuff to. zMagazine clippings, Snail shaped cookies!,little cloth snails (about the size of a quarter) and these tattoos from the poptarts box. Just little stuff, but the little stuff is what counts.
well, i'll tell you what happens tomorrow when i get back. Love ya! Bye
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
depression makes me tired ^_^
Just woke up about an hour ago. went to sleep about 7 last night... the mall was fun, just not as fun as i expected. Everyone seemed to be bored.i got some perfume,a new shirt, a necklace, a poster,the rainbow-y half gloves, and a slinky. we got a set of dominos and a nother slinky because we were bored and had nothing else to do. so we went outside and played with them on the sidewalk. I think the day ended with us having three dollars left of the original hundred something. the malls fuckign expensive. we had MCcdonalds for lunch because it was the cheapest thing there. Not much else to report, i guess. Love ya, bye
Sunday, March 23, 2008
blah,blah,blah
i'm here,just busy. i found this webpage that is one fo the funniest things i have ever read. Though, some of you may not appreciate it.i got an easter basket form ginger, even though i really see no point in celebrating a Zombie's return. Whatever. to each their own. Last night my grandmother was watching the Sound of music on t.v. when she fell asleep. While asleep, mind you, she started screaming about needing sandwiches. When my mother went to find out what the fuck she was talking about she was informed by her dreaming mother that the children needed sandwiches. So. the children from The Sound of music were real. They were hungry. And they wanted sandwiches. Dear god someone please shoot me. i was laughing for like 20 minutes.
i convinced mom to get pizza hut on friday. i got my own pizza, and i fiished it this morning for breakfast.
i'm getting a pimple on my chin. And it hurts. i'm gonna go watch soemthing on t.v. maybe. Maybe play Audiosurf. Bye!
i convinced mom to get pizza hut on friday. i got my own pizza, and i fiished it this morning for breakfast.
i'm getting a pimple on my chin. And it hurts. i'm gonna go watch soemthing on t.v. maybe. Maybe play Audiosurf. Bye!
Friday, March 21, 2008
*pouts*
Well, i had dinner with Austen and his family last night. It was fun, but kinda awkward since he and i were the only ones that weren't a couple. i met Alana's boyfriend, Albert, who seems nice. Austen's dad seems really nice, too. Austen and i both ordered the cheapest thing on the menu; a $10 cheeseburger. it was about 5 inches across, and 4 inches thick. Now i feel like fatass for eating the whole god damn thing. Anyway. We decided over dinner that today we would go see a movie(Horton Hears A Who).But, apparently, His dad doesn't remember the way here, and neither Zack nor Alana have ever been here. So. i can't go, because if Martha drove me, we would hve to leave Grammy here alone while we drive to Winchester. And this makes me sad, because i was really looking forward to it. But, this way, they don't have to worry about giving me a ride BACK here at the end of the day when it's dark. Brighter side? i have Spaghettios. i have chocolate.i have mt cat right here. I'm going to the mall on Monday. i hope. i still have to call Leeroy. Plus, just to make me feel worse, i think i'm about to start PMSing again. which would be the reason i can't stop crying.
i told Martha the reason i couldn't go was because Austen's grandpa's condition got worse in the hospital. So. i think she believed me. i hate to lie to her, but i don't want ther to feel bad. Well, i'm gonna go eat my spagettios. Bye.
i told Martha the reason i couldn't go was because Austen's grandpa's condition got worse in the hospital. So. i think she believed me. i hate to lie to her, but i don't want ther to feel bad. Well, i'm gonna go eat my spagettios. Bye.
Monday, March 17, 2008
mowr?
i forgot what i was gonna type...dammit. Is anyone gonna enter my contest? here. i'll start:
ewwe542u7y
Sarah. Get it? now try, you assholes!
ewwe542u7y
Sarah. Get it? now try, you assholes!
confused...and hungry...not a good combination...
1/5th of me wants to scream, 1/5th of me wants a cigarette...make that 2/5ths.1/5th of me wants to run around in circles for joy, and the last 1/5th wants to beat the shit out of something.
actually feeling kinda happy-ish right now. *sings ♫♪♫♪♪♫ oooh.... i have a competition for y'all. whoever can type their name with their forehead the best, wins....something. i still have to work that out.But. RULEZ: 1. You can't just type it. You're typing with your forehead for fucks sake. it won't be perfect, and i will know if you cheat. 2.each entry must be accompanied by a 3 sentence essay on why you deserve to win. 3. Entries will be judged on the following criteria:
a. how much you bribe me (the more, the better!)
b. how many big words you use in your essay, but the have to make sense.
c. how i'm feeling the day i check for winners
d.how close your forehead typed your name
e. what shirt i am wearing that day
f. what i ate for breakfast
now, to you, this might just seem like a joke. To prove that it is not, i will up the prize to: i will enter the winners name into a conversation once an hour, for an entire day.and, possibly, if you're lucky, you might be able to win an energy drink...or some food staple from my grandmother's pantry........... So. who will win? who will lose? who cares?
I DO!!!!
a. how much you bribe me (the more, the better!)
b. how many big words you use in your essay, but the have to make sense.
c. how i'm feeling the day i check for winners
d.how close your forehead typed your name
e. what shirt i am wearing that day
f. what i ate for breakfast
now, to you, this might just seem like a joke. To prove that it is not, i will up the prize to: i will enter the winners name into a conversation once an hour, for an entire day.and, possibly, if you're lucky, you might be able to win an energy drink...or some food staple from my grandmother's pantry........... So. who will win? who will lose? who cares?
I DO!!!!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
reporting in
well, i havnt been able to post lately because satellite internet is being a fucking cuntbucket.. There's not much to report.... My stomach hurts, my brother's over at some whore's house(not sure which one)... Yah. I got the plant put in my locker. It's a bonsai, and i really like it. I got a light to put in there to simulate sun lite, but i dont know how that will work. Also, i'm going to attach a little fake tire to it so it looks like a tree with a tire swing.just me and my crazy fucked up ideas:) bye guys. Love you
Friday, March 14, 2008
Also!
i forgot to add: I don't give a flying fuck in hell if he got a motherfucking blow job! She was his girlfriend, and if it disgusts you, don't watch! Yah, i realize it's the bus. But once again, you don't even fucking know him. And to me, someone who actually DOES know him, it doesn't sound like something he'd do. And it doesn't sound like something he'd do to Mitchell. Or Eve. And they've both known him since he came to this fucking school, so i think they're pretty good judges of his character. I don't think you should develop an opinion until you've actually experienced the offending object for your self. That means, not just basing your opinion on something your friend said, or what i said. You havn't even given him a motherfucking chance.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
i should know better after 14 years...
i just kinda feel like ranting. First on my list: Mitchell.
first of all, eve, you are a complete and total idiot to keep dating him.This weekend, instead of going with you to either the raid or the aquarium, he has decided that he is going to Jess's house. Which leads to my other point. i asked him what was happening this weekend, for the third time in 2 and a half weeks, and he starts yelling at me. i'm sorry if i wanna fucking know what the fuck i'm doing this weekend! he's a little inconsiderate douche bag and the day that all of his "friends" leave him, i'm gonna laugh and stay friends with them! ha! he can go fuck himself with a jackhammer for all i care! i say that i love him and everything's cool. but there's just this layer of hatred that is settled in the pit of my stomach that starts throbbing at times like this.And of course, being the pussy i am, when i feel hate anywhere, be it from me, or someone else, i start to cry. if i could, i'd have my tear ducts removed. Look. i know you guys are worried. but you have to wait for me to come to you. if you come to me and start judging me, i'm just gonna push you away. there's an overload of shit in my life. ive got my grandmother yelling every 3 minutes, my dad and not being able to see him, concerned friends,a complete and total fucking asshole,habits that make me happy, but every one else in the world seems to have a problem with, body image details, and im sure there are others.
Leeroy's like the big brother i never really had that didn't kick me around and put me down. he'd do anything for me, like i'd do just about anything for him. we're Nothing more, nothing less. so just because he is a friend i made after i changed my outlook on life, your gonna say he's a bad influence. fine. you can think that. but he is not the reason i started smoking. i started smoking because i was stressed one day after catering to my senile grandmother's every whim and nag. He is not the reason i started drinking. i started drinking because i wanted to stop being a fucking goody goody and have some fun for once..
now i ask you. have any of you ever been in this position? Ever walked a day in my shoes? Then i ask you, why do you judge me as you do?
No, this is not my attempt to say," ooohhh pity me. i have it so hard!" this is me trying to defend myself,my life and my friend against you. Which i never really thought i'd have to do.
first of all, eve, you are a complete and total idiot to keep dating him.This weekend, instead of going with you to either the raid or the aquarium, he has decided that he is going to Jess's house. Which leads to my other point. i asked him what was happening this weekend, for the third time in 2 and a half weeks, and he starts yelling at me. i'm sorry if i wanna fucking know what the fuck i'm doing this weekend! he's a little inconsiderate douche bag and the day that all of his "friends" leave him, i'm gonna laugh and stay friends with them! ha! he can go fuck himself with a jackhammer for all i care! i say that i love him and everything's cool. but there's just this layer of hatred that is settled in the pit of my stomach that starts throbbing at times like this.And of course, being the pussy i am, when i feel hate anywhere, be it from me, or someone else, i start to cry. if i could, i'd have my tear ducts removed. Look. i know you guys are worried. but you have to wait for me to come to you. if you come to me and start judging me, i'm just gonna push you away. there's an overload of shit in my life. ive got my grandmother yelling every 3 minutes, my dad and not being able to see him, concerned friends,a complete and total fucking asshole,habits that make me happy, but every one else in the world seems to have a problem with, body image details, and im sure there are others.
Leeroy's like the big brother i never really had that didn't kick me around and put me down. he'd do anything for me, like i'd do just about anything for him. we're Nothing more, nothing less. so just because he is a friend i made after i changed my outlook on life, your gonna say he's a bad influence. fine. you can think that. but he is not the reason i started smoking. i started smoking because i was stressed one day after catering to my senile grandmother's every whim and nag. He is not the reason i started drinking. i started drinking because i wanted to stop being a fucking goody goody and have some fun for once..
now i ask you. have any of you ever been in this position? Ever walked a day in my shoes? Then i ask you, why do you judge me as you do?
No, this is not my attempt to say," ooohhh pity me. i have it so hard!" this is me trying to defend myself,my life and my friend against you. Which i never really thought i'd have to do.
i came, i saw, i attempted to set up a democratic government abd failed, but i stayed there for 6+ years and claimed them to have weapons of mass dest
yeah... just kind of hanging out ...with myself.. in my aunt's basement, while talking to Leeroy on the phone. i apologized for War girl FUCKING JUMPING IN BETWEEN US WHILE WE WERE HAVING A CONVERSATION. seriously, we were talking at the end of my lunch table, and she leaped in front of me so i couldn't see him. It really pissed him off, too. i talked to her about it, but i think she'll probably do it again...
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
CAPTAIN PLANET
"EARTH!"
"FIRE!"
"WIND!"
"WATER!"
"HEART!"
"Go Planet!"
"By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!"
Captain Planet, he's our hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero
He's our powers magnified
And he's fighting on the planet's side
Captain Planet, he's our hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero
Gonna help him put asunder
Bad guys who like to loot and plunder
"You'll pay for this Captain Planet!"
We're the Planeteers
You can be one too
'Cause saving our planet is the thing to do!
Looting and polluting is not the way
Hear what Captain Planet has to say!
"The Power is Yours!"
"FIRE!"
"WIND!"
"WATER!"
"HEART!"
"Go Planet!"
"By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!"
Captain Planet, he's our hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero
He's our powers magnified
And he's fighting on the planet's side
Captain Planet, he's our hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero
Gonna help him put asunder
Bad guys who like to loot and plunder
"You'll pay for this Captain Planet!"
We're the Planeteers
You can be one too
'Cause saving our planet is the thing to do!
Looting and polluting is not the way
Hear what Captain Planet has to say!
"The Power is Yours!"
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
What goes through your head????
You know how i ride the bus to Ginger's house after school? well, she has some gospel shit or something they recorded at their church, playing upstairs, and she's singing along. She is one of the worst vocalists i have ever heard. I am going to puncture my eardrums. i'll try to take my mind off of it for now, i guess. Let's play a game!!! guess what number i'm thinking? Don't Peek! got it? It was 17. Did you win? Oh. sorry. better luck next time.
Oh, my god. I could kill War Girl right now. i was talking to leeroy next to my locker with Austen, and all of a fucking sudden, she comes out of nowhere, and starts practically screaming at him about how he's a bad influence. That was all i heard, then i dragged her down the hallway. i hate to think of what she might've said if she stayed there. the entire time, he's just laughing and saying " i don't even know who the fuck you are!" Dear god! then leeroy left, so i didn't even really get to talk to him and he wasnt at school yesterday, so i needed to. You make me mad. you need a new name... i'll give you one at my next post. well, i'm gonna go brood in this basement. Bye!
Oh, my god. I could kill War Girl right now. i was talking to leeroy next to my locker with Austen, and all of a fucking sudden, she comes out of nowhere, and starts practically screaming at him about how he's a bad influence. That was all i heard, then i dragged her down the hallway. i hate to think of what she might've said if she stayed there. the entire time, he's just laughing and saying " i don't even know who the fuck you are!" Dear god! then leeroy left, so i didn't even really get to talk to him and he wasnt at school yesterday, so i needed to. You make me mad. you need a new name... i'll give you one at my next post. well, i'm gonna go brood in this basement. Bye!
Monday, March 10, 2008
bored..and bored...
you know, i'm sure this has been apperent to you all, and in my subconscious it has been to me, too. But i just realized that, i'm fucking EMO!!! And i'm damn proud of it. ususlly, i don't really like getting asigned to a "side" but, shit happens. Although, i can be very judgmental, but that's not the point. Also, i think i'm bipolar, which would explain my inability to go a day without laughing at something stupid... ADD is also a possibility, cuz it's hard to concentrate sometimes, but that might be th Bipolar... ness...? OOH OOH OOH I have come to another great conclusion, like about Santa? But this one is about Jesus. JESUS HAS AIDS!!!!! Yeah, you heard me bitch!!!
See? I change topics regularly. Anyway. i'm going to be trying to take War Girl to the mall, cuz we haven't really talked for a while. Also, i'll probably be going to the Thorton River Grille with Austen... If mom lets me.well, that's all i have to report... Bye guys!
See? I change topics regularly. Anyway. i'm going to be trying to take War Girl to the mall, cuz we haven't really talked for a while. Also, i'll probably be going to the Thorton River Grille with Austen... If mom lets me.well, that's all i have to report... Bye guys!
Sunday, March 9, 2008
not much to report...
i got a brand fucking new computer,because my mom wanted the old one so she could play solitaire.It's an odd reason, but i'm not complaining. Not much else to report... just took a shower... Going to the mall soon, maybe over spring break...not sure... i got a plant to put in my locker.yes, a plant. it will be installed sometime this week. there's not much else, so i'm gonna go. Bye!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
i would like to scream at the top of my lungs, but that would disturb my grandmother
i swear to god. if i have to stay here much longer i am going to shoot myself in the foot.Do you guys have any idea how stressful it is to have to take care of a 76 year old woman? Who nags about stupid shit? Who screams in her sleep? Who asks for her mother who has been dead for 30 years? Didn't think so. imagine being taken away from your lifestyle, and having to move to a place where you can't walk down the hall without being asked to do something,can't play your music, can't cry without being barraged with questions,have zero privacy, where your life suddenly revolves around if your grandmother took her pills.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
actually feeling good about myself
been talking to war girl, and i'm genuinely happy.we have plans to go... somewhere. i'm not sure where yet.still disoriented. we have to plan for our next year in school, and i'm drawing a blank. Seriously, it's a pretty good picture of a blank.... never mind. well, i'm done here. love ya. bye
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
if there is agod, he hates me.
i was getting off the bus, slipped on the wet stairs and landed on the mud and gravel on my ass. i scraped my knee, and my ass hurts so bad. i'm gonna go kill my self now.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Saturday, March 1, 2008
cold, harsh, metal.
so fucking depressed, you'd think my entire family had died.You know what? i want some vodka. Right now. i want everything to be funny, like the weekends where Leeroy comes over and we all get drunk as fuck. Or the time it was Zack, Eve, Morgan, Leeroy, Mitchell and i, and we all just partied. Watching Donnie Darko, me the drunkest i had ever been, with Leeroy and Zack convincing me that Frank was watching me. At one point, i was sitting on the other side of the room, so wasted i couldnt walk, and Leeroy had me convinced that Scream was behind me. i turned, and mistaking Mitchell's trench coat for Scream, screamed. Wow. That was a fun night. wish i was home so i could fucking actually do that. i just want to get drunk and laugh. i want to talk to Leeroy. Fuck this shit.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Thanks for the wristband, Austen
not much going on... i've been bored... Well, i talked to Cally the other day, and we talked for a bit. Damn, i miss her. I need a cigarette. and a drink. i don't really feel like being alive right now, so i'm gonna go. Love you guys. bye.
Monday, February 18, 2008
As i lay me down to sleep
depressed... my hand hurts... cant sleep...don't want to sleep... cuz that's when they get you.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
CUTE!!!
as you can see, i have fallen in love with bunnyhero labs. the animals are so friggin cute!!!i love how you can interact with them and play.well, if i see any more, i'll probably get them, but the others on the site dont interest me as much. love you ! bye!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Look what i got!!!
since few of you have actually seen him, i adopted a Baby Ace look alike from a website for free. It'll follow your cursor! it's so cute!
freedom
i feel so free today! Leeroy and i stayed up until 5 after mitchell had fallen asleep. we went into the basement,and talked and played on the computer.After i fell asleep on the bed,he took the couch.
Before mitchell conked out, we all played hid and seek at 4 in the morning. It was surprisingly fun.
ill talk later. love you! bye
Before mitchell conked out, we all played hid and seek at 4 in the morning. It was surprisingly fun.
ill talk later. love you! bye
great weekend
Leeroy ended up coming over here to help us housesit. i got drunk for like the first time in 2 months. we spent most of the time sitting out on the porch smoking and talking. This has already been a really fun weekend.Bye guys! Love you!
Friday, February 15, 2008
All You Need is Love. And Ginger Snaps
Have i ever told you guys how much i love you?
Brownies:you provided entertainment( lesbian?) and a good friend
War girl: things didn't really work out, but for a good amount of time, you were there for me, and still are to some extent
Austen: where to begin? you put up with my bullshit, yet still stay. Amazing.
Mairead: Yes, we haven't known each other for long, but you're awesome. And scary. perfect combination.
i cannot say it enough. i love you all to death. And beyond. Remember that.
Brownies:you provided entertainment( lesbian?) and a good friend
War girl: things didn't really work out, but for a good amount of time, you were there for me, and still are to some extent
Austen: where to begin? you put up with my bullshit, yet still stay. Amazing.
Mairead: Yes, we haven't known each other for long, but you're awesome. And scary. perfect combination.
i cannot say it enough. i love you all to death. And beyond. Remember that.
Hi-Liter
So, i'm sitting here, with Leroy on my left with a cigarette in his mouth. Retard. i just smacked it out of his mouth and now he's crying.( poor baby) i'm gonna go smoke, or somehting. bye, guys
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy V Day!
Hooray! Hallmark Holidays! i sent myself a carnation cuz i figured no one would send me one, but: Kaitlyn sent me one, Adam sent me one, Leroy sent me one, Austen sent me one, and the system messed up, so they said that he sent me two more. But it was so nice! It really surprised me, especially Leroy's. Although i know it was only cuz i told him i sent him one, it was still nice.
Thank everybody! Happy Valentines day, Mairead, Eve and Amanda! Love you all!
Thank everybody! Happy Valentines day, Mairead, Eve and Amanda! Love you all!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
not addicted, but i act like it cuz it's fun to hear you guys yell
what the fuck do you have to do to get a cigarette around here? Jeez!
a weekend shot
this weekend, Mitchell and i have to housesit for my aunt.the good thing is, that i will have high speed all weekend! yay me!
I got a call from my other aunt, Martha who is living with us at my grandmother's house, saying that Grammy fell out of her wheelchair. How do you accomplish this? She's 76 for god sakes! Whatever. Well, she bumped her head and Martha had to call the rescue squad to pick her back up and make sure she was ok. i'll tell you one thing. life with my family is rarely boring.
i just finished two really depressing book. one about a girl with leukemia and the other about a girl with anorexia. The plot lines were very confusing, but they are now two of my favorites. The leukemia one was My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Piccoult, the other one was Skin by someone else.... both very worth reading. they're tear jerkers. i'm gonna go read another book that i started yesterday by Jodi Piccoult called Nineteen Minutes. All of her books that i have read ( this is the third) have many backround stories, and there is no main one. It skips around a lot in time. This one is about a school shooting, a judge, and her daughter. It's really good. Well, bye! love ya!
I got a call from my other aunt, Martha who is living with us at my grandmother's house, saying that Grammy fell out of her wheelchair. How do you accomplish this? She's 76 for god sakes! Whatever. Well, she bumped her head and Martha had to call the rescue squad to pick her back up and make sure she was ok. i'll tell you one thing. life with my family is rarely boring.
i just finished two really depressing book. one about a girl with leukemia and the other about a girl with anorexia. The plot lines were very confusing, but they are now two of my favorites. The leukemia one was My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Piccoult, the other one was Skin by someone else.... both very worth reading. they're tear jerkers. i'm gonna go read another book that i started yesterday by Jodi Piccoult called Nineteen Minutes. All of her books that i have read ( this is the third) have many backround stories, and there is no main one. It skips around a lot in time. This one is about a school shooting, a judge, and her daughter. It's really good. Well, bye! love ya!
an Ice Day?
Woo-Hoo! No school! but shit. i still have to buy flowers... whatever. i'm gonna go read. bye!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
dum-de-dum-dum-dum
*hums to self* Oh, Hello! Do i know you? Ah, yes. We met at that crab bake two years back. i thought you looked familiar. How have you been? Married? Great! So sorry i couldn't make it to the wedding. Me? Well, not really... We were dating for three years, then i found out he was cheating on me. Thanks for the support. Whatever, it's his loss; Dirty Bastard. Left me and poor two year old Isabel here to fend for ourselves. i told her that daddy was taking a trip and that he'd be home soon. How are you supposed to explain abandonment to a child? When from the very beginning of their fragile lives, they are taught to trust without a second thought. Don't worry honey! Mommy won't let you fall! or " i promise ". Promises are the biggest load of bullshit on this earth. Anyone who believes otherwise is a money-grubbing prick raised in private school, where every weekend your parents take you down to their private bay so you can Yacht race and wipe you ass with fifty dollar bills. Oh. i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to rant. How are you?
Everyone: Try to interpret the aspects of this monologue. i guarantee none of you will get it completely right, seeing as i don't know what they are.
Everyone: Try to interpret the aspects of this monologue. i guarantee none of you will get it completely right, seeing as i don't know what they are.
Monday, February 11, 2008
blech
i tried inhaling when i smoke, and i almost died.Mitchell said it's not dumb to smoke without inhaling, so its ok. I prefer not to. Hi, Eve! If any of the posts say something rude about you, just try to put yourself in my position, ok? love yas!
so, thank you for reading this, brownies, and thank you for not screaming at me like Sadie will...
me: sorry i think that one's cute
so, thank you for reading this, brownies, and thank you for not screaming at me like Sadie will...
me: sorry i think that one's cute
ok!
imy dad is back at nancies house and he has xmas presents
4:45 PM Netsua: the Ashwaghanda is the aphrodisiac
me: including one's for us from our dead aunt
cool
Netsua: aw
that made me a little teary
me: well, she died in august, so she bouhgt early
why?
4:46 PM Netsua: well... she died and your finally receiving her gifts
me: fucked up, right? My family is screwy
Netsua: and you areunable to thank her
4:48 PM me: oh, and her daughter who is trying to adopt kid from uzebeckistan, she has paid every thing with the 250,000 her dad left her when he died, she doesnt have her baby yet because the country won't let her or something get it
Netsua: that's sad...
me: *get it or something
i know! its really wierd!
4:49 PM so now i get Dead Denise's christmas presents! yay!
Netsua: I cried inside and laughed inside at the same time
4:50 PM me: me too!
this the chat that Austen and i just had. it will explain things. Bye, guys!
this the chat that Austen and i just had. it will explain things. Bye, guys!
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